Seeking Authentic Happiness

What is authentic happiness?

The concept of happiness is such an indeterminate one that even though everyone wishes to attain happiness, yet he can never say definitely and consistently what it is that he really wishes and wills. – Immanuel Kant

As it is the beginning of my Romeo Project and the month of Be Authentic, I wanted to explore authentic happiness.

Little did you know mere mortal, there is a difference between happiness, and genuine real authentic happiness. At least according to all these writers who make their money off of selling the secret to real happiness.

Things That Always Make Me Smile

When it comes to authenticity I think it’s hard to fake a smile.

When you smile, genuinely smile because something makes you feel good, that’s authentic.

Here is a list of the things that never fail to make me smile;

• Making my Dad laugh
• Giving a nerdy present to my little sister
• My dog licking my hand after I’ve been petting her
• When someone remembers a small and almost insignificant detail I told them
• When someone offers to pay for the coffee/tea I just ordered
• When you do a little favour for someone without them having to ask
• Getting a compliment
• When my Dad calls me on the phone
• A supportive blog comment
• Getting to treat a friend
• A warm, calming cup of tea after a long day

Interestingly, I see my values in this list. This also made me smile.

Creating a Life Handbook

My Life Handbook

A big part of my Be Authentic month is creating a Life Handbook. It sounds cheesy, I know, but hear me out first.

I got the idea of starting my own Life Handbook from Personal Excellence. The website is basically a self-help blog encouraging and helping readers to reach their potential.

On the site, Celes discusses a Life Handbook and how creating such a book can guide you along the way to living the best possible life.

“A life handbook is your guidebook to live your best life, consisting of everything from your life purpose, to life adages, to long-term goals, to short-term goals, to action plans to realize said goals. Just like the Bible reflects the doctrine and creed of Christianity, your life handbook reflects the essence of what it means to be you and what it takes to live your best life. Think of it as your GPS for life.”

A GPS for life. Amazing.

I was sold, so I decided that I should create one to help me Be Authentic.

My Values | Be Authentic

As followers of The Romeo Project already know, the month of January is all about my resolution to Be Authentic.
It’s about being true to myself; my like, my passion, my dislikes. And my values.

Values are the things that empower, motivate and excite you. They are what you stand for. How you want to live your life.

Now I’m trying to figure out what my values are. But how do we actually discover our values?

I started with a simple list of things I admire – honesty, being grateful, being polite, and empathy.

Mike Jaffe, 'Wake Up Your Life is Calling'

Then I took a look at Mike Jaffe’s book ‘Wake Up Your Life is Calling’.

Jaffe’s book contains a list of values to help you find the qualities that fit you (see Defining Your Core Values - Part I). The list isn't conclusive, and Jaffe highlights that you may come up with other values not on the list.
I figured I could link some of my values with some of his;

• My honesty was his truth.
• My empathy was his compassion, kindness and caring.

I also loved that authenticity was listed as a value. Seen as my month was all about 'Be Authentic', I would like to someday say authenticity is a value of mine. But for now, it didn't quite fit.

Be Authentic: Intro

“He tried to keep on the right side of power, tried to be loyal to so many things that he himself couldn’t tell which one of his selves was the authentic, if any.” 

– Kiran Desai, The Inheritance of Loss

Authenticity can be a meaningless cliché.

Out of my list of resolutions, Be Authentic is probably the one that most seems like I’m regurgitating a typical self-help phrase.

For something supposedly about being real and genuine, the phrase often feels more precocious than a representation of reality.

I’ve often associated authenticity with identity. It's about who we are and what we stand for. About letting the real you shine through. To live your life authentically, you stay true to yourself.

But who I am has changed dramatically over the years.
Sure I was once a red-haired, lip pierced girl. But I don’t mean that I have just changed physically. My likes, my values and my beliefs have changed too.

What's a Life Redesign?

“Design is a plan for arranging elements in such a way as best to accomplish a particular purpose.”

Charles Eames

I first heard the term ‘life redesign’ while reading an article on The Guardian. I was searching for articles on happiness, and I stumbled upon this Happiness by Design piece.

Katie McCroy wrote about how she decided her life was in need of a significant change. So, she moved from London to Copenhagen, the so-called happiest city in the world. She titles the article ‘How to design your life for happiness’.

Rather than focusing on one thing in your life – like happiness – a redesign looks at whole areas and your whole life, and how changing these areas or aspects can in the end increase your happiness.  For McCroy, that was moving out of the UK and starting her life over in Copenhagen.

Denmark is purportedly the happiest country in the world. The majority of the population cite social equality as the most important indicator of happiness in the country, but this didn’t happen by accident. An equal society was designed and built.

What's All This About Happiness?

The world is obsessed with attaining happiness. It’s become an over-hyped and commodifiable concept. Countless self-help books claim they can help you achieve it. But it always seems out of our reach.

But why are we so determined to have it?

And when did the search for fulfilling happiness begin?

The Pursuit of Happiness

“The pursuit of human happiness, it would seem, has been with us from the start.” 

Darrin M McMahon

Well, the search for happiness has been ongoing throughout history. In Greek Tragedies happiness was in the hands of chance, or with the gods. Not something achievable by our own hands. It wasn’t until Socrates insisted that happiness lies within our own reach that humans finally began to think
that they were responsible for their own fate.