That's not me being over dramatic. That's what I've been going through.
Worrying about jobs, where to live, friends, money, the future. Ugh, the future is such a burdening concept. I felt as if I were failing, or always going to fail.
I'd been so caught up in maybes and what ifs that I made myself physically ill.
My anxiety brought on headaches, a loss of appetite, trouble sleeping, pain in my chest. I couldn't concentrate or focus.
You know that knot you get in your stomach when you're anxious before a job interview? Or before you go on stage to give a speech?
I had that knot in my stomach for days on end.
Anxiety is appropriate in certain situations. It's the expectation that something threatening will occur in the future. So it can be helpful on occasions - You worry about the success of a project, so you work harder to improve it.
I always worry too much. That's who I am. I worry about my sister's Leaving Cert. I worry about my pets when I'm not home. I worry about confrontation. I worry about the outcome of the Equal Marriage Referendum. But when it comes to the point where I'm so caught up in what might happen in the future and I'm causing myself actual pain, it becomes a problem.
And that's what I've been doing the past two weeks. Over-worrying about people's reactions, where I'm going, my financial situation.
The reality is that things work out. And they work out for the best. They do get better.
At least in my case that has proven itself to be true. All this freaking out I've been doing has been for nothing. All the little things I was losing sleep over have worked out. And I've never been happier. Being calmer however, is a different matter.
I don't know how to stop worrying so much. I'm hoping that writing about it will help. Or maybe this experience will work to remind me that sometimes there's just no need to stress too much, because things do work out.
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| New Life Motto |
To better understand anxiety in a fun and informal way, check out this helpful Buzzfeed guide.
