How to be there for a friend...

It's World Suicide Prevention Day. To mark it, I am writing about how we can all take little, individual steps to truly prevent suicide.

One of the hardest things we go through in life is having to witness a friend experiencing a crisis. Whether it be the break-up of a long-term relationship, the death of a close relative, or struggling with mental illness, it can be a real test of friendship to be supportive in these situations. It's not always easy to offer help, and it's not always easy to know what the right thing to do is.

So here are my tips on how to be there for a friend who is going through a crisis:

And I'll Be Curled On The Floor Hiding Out From It All

Oh and I'm feeling 

Directionless yes 

But that's to be expected 

And I know that best 

And in creeps the morning 

And another day's lost  

... ... ... ... ... ... 

And I'll be curled on the floor

Hiding out from it all 

Tegan & Sara, 'Soil, Soil' 

You all know the stereotype. The depressed person who hides under their duvet cover and won't get out of bed. Why is it that they can't leave the house and face the world like everyone else does?

Well here's my response.

I'm going to talk through with you why many people who live with depression often further isolate themselves and withdraw using examples from my past and present experiences.

Why I Hide Away During My Worst Days...

'Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you home.'

My little sister has just started reading the Harry Potter books. She's ten years old, and having sat through the rest of the family watching the movies she's ready to embark on the journey right on her own.

About two years ago I gifted her my copy of The Philosophers Stone for Christmas. Her, however, being the the smart little terror that she is, knew it was second-hand and wasn't all that impressed with my present.
Fair enough.

My little sis

It's taken all of that time for her to finally accept that gift and start reading it.
Now, she's on Book 4; The Goblet of Fire. And as I tell her quite often; her journey is really only beginning. Because from here on out the books take a darker route along with their additional 300 pages.

The best thing about my little sister reading Harry Potter though?

Things I have learned from my mental illness:

What my mental illness has taught me:

-          What my passion is

§  My experiences with mental health lead me to start campaigning around mental health issues, and in turn lead to advocacy work. I became more confident, I was brought out of my shell. It’s what I love doing, and where I found happiness. And I never would have discovered it if I hadn’t had my own personal experiences with mental illness.

-          Who my friends are

§  Yes, there were people who thought I was ‘attention-seeking’ with my mental illness. There were people who stopped talking to me. People who stopped trying to make an effort with me on my worse days. I can forgive them that.

§  But then there are the people who accepted me unconditionally. There are the people who stuck with me through the highs and the lows. There are the people who I could be myself around.

§  And I made new and like-minded friends. Friends that I work with on mental health awareness campaigns. People who I never would have known if I hadn’t gone through what I did.

August Book Read

How is it the end of August? How has my summer ended already? *insert sad face emoticon here*

Well regardless of how much faster time passes with the older you get, the end of the month spells my monthly Book Review.

The Popular Novel:

The Fault In Our Stars, John Green

You know the plot. Either you've read it already, seen the film, or at least been subject to the hype that surrounds both. Even my mother said 'I saw an ad for that' when I described the book for her.

Basic Plot: Teenage girl (Hazel) has cancer. Teenage girl meets teenage boy (Augustus) in recovery from cancer. They fall in love. But they're kids with cancer, it was never going to end 'Happily Ever After'.

I knew all of this. I didn't start reading the book blindly, in fact I knew exactly how it ended thanks to a spoiler from my loving younger sister. It also wasn't the first John Green novel I read, so I knew to expect his emotional telling of teenage love.

My Top 5 Helpful Websites

Today I wanted to share with you some of my favourite mental health related websites.

While these websites aren’t only to do with mental health, or even marketed around mental health, I have found them to be inspiring, encouraging and helpful over the past few years.

Here Is Today

http://hereistoday.com/

Sometimes you just need to put things into context. There are times when I've had a problem, a small problem, but it becomes all consuming; it's all I think about, I obsess over it. When I notice I'm doing this I like to visit Here Is Today and remind myself that 'the little things', the things we often worry most about are insignificant in the wider context of things. Give it a go, it's pretty awesome.

Do Nothing For 2 Minutes

http://www.donothingfor2minutes.com/

Do Nothing For 2 Minutes reminds us to be mindful. No matter what type of day you've had, no matter how busy you are, we need to remember to take time out every now and again. This site gives you a 2 minute countdown for you to 'Just relax and listen to the waves'. And if you risk breaking those two minutes and move your mouse, the countdown starts from the beginning again.

The Thoughts Room

http://thequietplaceproject.com/thethoughtsroom/

The Thoughts Room is one of a number of projects by The Quiet Place. The site allows users to visit a room and share their thoughts, their worries and watch them disappear. It's all about getting rid of anonymous thoughts. The music is sweet and calming too (it's called One Day In August). It really is as beautiful as it sounds.

The Dawn Room

http://thequietplaceproject.com/thedawnroom/

Another site from The Quiet Place Project. The Dawn Room offers hope. Yes, it's okay to feel sad, but this site reminds users that sometimes we are too harsh on ourselves. What would you say to a friend who was feeling down? Why can't we say those same things to ourselves?

All of the positive messages have been submitted by other people who have visited the site when feeling down, which gives the page a real sense of community.

sleepyti.me bedtime calculator

http://sleepyti.me/

This website does exactly what it says in the url. I have to have 8 hours sleep every night or I just can't function. BUT there is a glitch in the matrix; sleep cycles. 

Waking up in the middle of a sleep cycle leaves you feeling tired and groggy, but waking up in between cycles lets you wake up feeling refreshed and alert.

Sleepyti.me takes into account what time you have to wake up at in the morning, how long it takes the average person to fall asleep, and sleep cycles when calculating what time you should be falling asleep at. AND having used it (which I understand is not an actual scientific experiment) I've found it works. 

I hope you've found this post useful and do visit the sites, or even just bookmark them. You never know when you or a friend will need a pick-me-up.

Mobile Gaming Apps

Are we all addicted to online gaming?

I’ve been rather unlucky with my apps in the past couple of weeks.

Having played The Simpsons: Tapped Out somewhat religiously since September 2013, I was quite the fan of the game. But back in July the app deleted all of my progress and informed me I must start again, from the very beginning. If you don’t/haven’t played it you should know this; it is a highly addictive game where players are asked to rebuild Springfield after Homer causes a nuclear disaster (not a totally unrealistic plot). Regular updates kept the game fresh and exciting. And I played pretty much daily. Alas, since July my account no longer works.

It’s a common enough error in the app (it’s since happened to my sister and a host of others I've found online) but for all the time I spent on it over a 10 month period it is pretty infuriating.

The Kim Kardashian Hollywood Game has to be the biggest gaming app of the summer. Released in early July, the app allows users to become Hollywood A-listers, date other celebs, make nightclub appearances and participate in other banal celebrity activities. Even people who aren't Kardashian fans have found themselves downloading the app. Being out of work and pretty much bed bound with shingles in July, what I needed to pass the two weeks was a time consuming app that involved very little thinking.

The different paths your ‘career’ could go down depending on your in-game choices really appealed to me. Completing tasks was the first thing I did in the morning, and the last thing before I fell asleep for a full two weeks. It was gloriously addictive – exactly what the doctor ordered. 

That is, until the July 24^th update took up the last ounce of space on my phone. In fact, I could no longer play the game as there wasn’t enough memory left to save my progress. (My most-hated aspect of the app was that you didn’t sign up for it or start an account; meaning that if you lost the app on your device, you could never return to your game) I tried deleting other apps to make room but to no avail. In the end I made the (somewhat) difficult decision to delete the Kim game, and all of my progress in the process. Except, that didn’t quite work either. Neither my phone, nor Google Play would let me. At the point I have tried to delete the app 7 times, but the icon is still there. So I thought ‘hey, maybe I’ll try to play it again then’. But of course I can’t do that either as the game ‘no longer exists’. Great.  So long Kim Kardashian Hollywood.

And now I can only reflect on all of the time I’ve wasted on both of these Apps (not to mention the others I tried in the past year too – Candy Crush, Family Guy: The Quest For Stuff etc.). Considering I played them both almost daily for as long as I had them I can only estimate that it was A LOT of hours. But what was the point? I have absolutely nothing to show for it.

Sure, I was an A-lister for a week (with a key to my boyfriend’s apartment might I add), but surely I could have (and should have?) spent my time doing something more productive.

So why do we give up so much of my time to mindless online games?

I no longer have any gaming apps on my android. It is my new mission not to get zapped into fake lives, or addictive measures to pass the time. And I think this is not only good for me in a ‘more time’ way, but also for my mental health. It has always been important for me to feel like I’ve achieved something with my spare time, and online gaming obviously wasn't helping that.

So, here it goes. To a life away from gaming apps. Or just to tweeting more...