Are We Happy Yet? Another self-help book promising the keys to happiness

Are We Happy Yet? 8 Keys to a Joyful Life

I've just finished reading Are We Happy Yet? by Lisa Gypes Kamen, yet another self-help book that I thought could teach me the magic skill of rewiring my brain for happiness.

I had high hopes for Are We Happy Yet?. Gypes Kamen reveals early on in the book that she's had her own mental health battles. Self-help books from the perspective of someone who has battled depression are all too rare. I thought that finally, I had found a book written with mental illness and depression in mind. Finally a book that didn't say I should just think positively and think happy thoughts to be happy.

“As a reformed depressed person, I did not wander into my happy place. There was a personal evolution to my happiness revolution.”

The fact that she says 'reformed depressed person' should have been my warning sign that I was wrong.

While Gypes Kamen said she wanted to debunk the annoying yellow "smiley face" notion of happiness, the book does go there.

Apparently there are eight keys to living a joyful life. Who knew that I just had to do eight things to find happiness! In fact some of the tips contained within the eight keys are quite thought provoking. I particularly found the emphasis on not holding grudges and learning not to complain useful, because I am a serial complainer. It made me think about how I can improve my constant need to complain and whine.

But the book also delivers cheesy self-help jargon like - "Happy people are resilient people", or how you should choose to thrive rather than mainly survive.

I liked that the book was full of practical tools like journaling and writing prompts. Early on you're asked to define your happiness factor - you natural level of happiness - through 65 questions. Similar quizzes are evident throughout the book, but how these can be considered in anyway scientific isn't clear. Readers are also encouraged to build a happiness toolkit, another practical and useful activity.

What I didn't like however, was the notion that you can cultivate happiness by playing happy music (because listening to happy music apparently makes it impossible to feel sad).

If you haven't read a lot of self-help books and want to dip your toe in, Are We Happy Yet? might be for you. It references lots of other books and authors, and the level of topics in there is like multiple self-help books rolled into one.

Are We Happy Yet? got me thinking about happiness in my own life.
Am I doing enough of what makes me happy? And what am I looking for when I read these self-help books promising happiness? But I can't say I feel happier having read it.

Until next time,

**I requested to review Are We Happy Yet? from Netgalley.**   

Debunking the mental health myths

As a mental health activist, I'm aware that there are a lot of misconceptions out there when it comes to mental health. For one, we all have mental health (whether good or bad), and mental health should not be synonymous with mental illness. So when I finished a new book all about psychology myths, I knew I'd have to talk about it.

50 Great Myths of Popular Psychology: Shattering Widespread Misconceptions about Human Behavior by Scott O. Lilienfeld, Steven Jay Lynn, John Ruscio, and Barry L. Beyerstein debunks what a lot of us actually believe about human behaviour and mental illness.

Psychological myths can be dangerous. What people think is true about mental illness can perpetuate the stigma and cause harm. And this is the bread and butter of this book - challenging stereotypes that exist thanks to misleading popular culture. Whether its news stories in the media, or what we consume in books and films, what we consume shapes how we think and feel about an issue.

For example, one stigmatising myth that keeps popping up in the media these days is that people with mental illness are dangerous. Whether it's terrorists, murderers, or even President of America, Donald Trump - lately the media is reinforcing the idea that mental illness is dangerous and is used as a justification for heinous crimes (Yes I did say heinous crimes like I was doing the Law & Order voiceover).

Myths like "most mentally ill people are dangerous" are debunked with science, evidence and facts.

And the book tackles this one, because there is no evidence that someone with a mental illness is more dangerous than someone without one. And people with a mental illness are far more likely to be the victims of, rather than the perpetrators, of violence. Yet the media coverage virtually guarantees that many people will think “violence” whenever they hear “mental illness” (Ruscio, 2000). And now I have sources and quotes aplenty for every time I have this argument on Twitter. (Which is a lot.)

That's not the only myth the book tackles - there are 50 of them after all. The media has also shaped, and mislead, public opinion about ECT (electric convulsive therapy) and schizophrenia.

"The misleading stereotype of schizophrenics as persons who act like two completely different people on different occasions has become ingrained in modern culture."

It also lists 10 sources of psychological myths, such as where they come from and why they exist, so that you can bust them yourself.

My favourite thing about the book was that all the self-help nonsense that has sold millions of books and that I've been buying into for years is debunked with clinical trials and research. It definitely helped me to unlearn old habits of thinking. For example, dismissing the 5 stages of grief, or challenging the validity of IQ tests. The book also details the harm these beliefs can lead to - like if we all just dismiss teenager's mood swings as 'normal', it may stop them from seeking and receiving the help and support they may need.

If you have an interest in stigma or even in the science and evidence behind popular beliefs, this book is a good read. It's also filled with puns, which always makes science a bit more fun!

Until next time,

Reading for your mental health | Book prescriptions

Reading has always been a source of education, entertainment, enjoyment and escapism.

And it's something health services are catching on to. Book prescriptions are starting to play a huge role in mental health care, with services recommending mental health-related novels, psychology books and memoirs for patients. See some lists below for reading suggestions.

But reading to help improve your mental health doesn't mean you should only read books about mental health issues.

In fact, often I find books about mental health issues more difficult to read. The content is too relatable. It can end up putting you back in that place of despair, or anxiety rather than helping you break out of it. While psychology and psychiatry books are helpful, it's difficult to learn from them and put their tips into practice while in a depressive state.

For me, reading has always been a form of escapism. I read to escape my mental illness, and I will only read mental health-related books when my own mental health is good.

Last year I found myself turning to books for solace more than I have ever done before. I read every morning on my way to work, on my way home, on every bus, train or plane. I read on days off, on quiet days childminding. I read every spare second I had.

It all started when I joined Goodreads and set a reading challenge of 45 books for the year. I had no idea how many books I read a year before this, but it seemed like something to aspire to; close to, but less than, one a week. By July I had surpassed by goal, reading 72 books by the end of 2017.

And the mental health benefits were extraordinary.

• Cut down on screen time. I spent less time on my phone, in front of my laptop, and generally being aware of my online presence. I forgot to Snapchat what I was doing because my focus was on reading. 

• Sleep better. Because I was reading before I went to sleep, I fell asleep faster and had a better sleep. Limiting your screen time before you go to bed has been proven to lead to better sleep, and the nights where I did this, I definitely felt more rested in the morning. 

• Relieve stress. One of the best things about books, is escaping from the real world and your problems for a little while. After a stressful day at work I used to go home, make a cup of tea and go straight to bed watching Netflix, going over and over my problems in my head until I eventually fall asleep. But reading lets you leave the stress behind. If it's a good story, you get drawn in and forget about your troubles. And after a break from analysing my problems, I usually realise their not that bad after all. Thank goodness I'm not in the Hunger Games. 

• Always had something to talk about. One thing I find really hard about social anxiety, is trying to come up with possible conversation topics in preparation for a conversation occurring. But when you read, you have a endless supply of topics. Whether it's authors, new books, or book recommendations for other people, I have conversation on the tip of my tongue.

• Remind you that you're not alone. When I did read mental health related books, I learned more about myself than therapy could ever teach me. You discover that there are others who feel the exact same way as you do, the way that you thought only you had ever felt in the whole world, and they can describe it so perfectly that you finally realise you are not alone. 

Any book can be your prescription to better mental health, but if you want some suggestions, see the lists below.

Do you find reading helps improve your mental health? Let me know in the comments below.

Until next time,

Discover some mental health book prescriptions:

Children’s Books Ireland and First Fortnight Children’s Reading List

Bibliotherapy- created by the HSE, Dublin City Council Libraries

Read Your Mind- created by Jigsaw Tallaght and South Dublin County Council

Reading Well- Created by Reading Well

Life Lessons for workplace anxiety from Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg

One of my January reads this year was the inspiring and motivational Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg. Sandberg draws on her own life experiences from her successful career, juggling motherhood, and the women she has observed in workplaces over the years to give us a detailed account of how women can should and need to lean in to their careers.

The book details 'the leadership gap' where men still hold the higher-level, better-paid positions in workplaces around the world. Sandberg acknowledges the barriers that continue to hold women back and force them out of workplaces, such as motherhood. It's been five years since Lean In was published and nothing has changed. Gender inequality still exists in the workplace.

"...women are hindered by barriers that exist within ourselves. We hold ourselves back in ways both big and small, by lacking self- confidence, by not raising our hands, and by pulling back when we should be leaning in." 

And having anxiety is just another one of these barriers - where your self-doubt, inabilities and insecurities can play over and over - that often holds people back from reaching their goals whether in the workplace or in their personal life.

Lean In is the perfect New Year read. If there's a better book to set a woman up career-wise for the year ahead, I want to know.

I found myself nodding along and marking up sentences and paragraphs to come back to. There was so much I could relate to in my own workplace. But there was also so much I felt I could learn from and put into practice too. I want to share some of these bits with you today.

To help me build my own confidence in work, and reduce work-related anxiety.

Here are my key life lessons to tackle workplace anxiety from from Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg.

Allow yourself to be upset; but then move on.
I love this advice. Sandberg emphasises the importance of acknowledging your sadness, of feeling left out or let down, but also how it's paramount to your mental health to move on.
Okay, okay so this one is not only the first but by far the hardest lesson for me. Moving on is not something I am particularly good at, but I reckon I can start to learn this skill in the workplace. While I love my job, I also find it easier to emotionally detach from work than from most things in my personal life. So where better to learn to move on from being upset? It's okay to be upset, but it's also important to remember that everyone is human, and humans have flaws and make mistakes. Do not hold grudges.

Find the middle ground. 
I feel like I talk too much in team meetings. It's something I've started to become aware of, and anxious about, over the past months. And it's making me self-conscious. Thankfully, this is something Sandberg covered really well in her book having had a similar problem. She suggests that instead you find the middle ground. Instead of butting in when another colleague is asked a question; bite your tongue and feel like you're not speaking enough. Don't butt in and give your opinion unless it's asked for in these circumstances. She also says that the people who feel like they do the opposite in meetings and never speak up should feel like they speak too much. Don't take over, but don't be walked over either.

Seize all opportunities.
"...opportunities are rarely offered; they're seized." Anxiety in the workplace can make you doubt yourself and hold your back. This is particular evident when new opportunities come along. Whether it's a taking on a new role or a promotion, self-doubt can stop you moving forward in your career.  Not only that, but sometimes you have to create a new role for yourself and make your own opportunities to progress. It's not an easy thing to do, but I can make a start. I can put my name forward when a new work comes in, I can actively seek training and courses. I can try to learn new skills that will not only benefit me, but my workplace.

Sharing emotions builds deeper relationships.
It's only week three of the New Year, but I'm already getting practice with this one. I've always been the type of person who went to work to work, not to make friends. I'd get on with my work, what I'm good at, rather than socialising, that which I'm not good at. At the same time, I would worry about what all my colleagues thought of me and distress over how much better they seem to get along with each other than with me. But New Year, New Me. I decided to make more of an effort, and not only that, but to tell my colleagues more about my life. Sandberg says we are more motivated to work with people we care about. So be human with your colleagues. It's okay to talk about your personal life and to be personable.

Be authentic not perfect.
I am, always have been and always will be, a perfectionist. But deep down I also know this is not realistic. Perfection does not exist. It's not easy to change your mindset and stop aiming for perfection. But it is healthy to focus on your authenticity rather than how you failed to be perfect. Being yourself, not putting up a front, and admitting your mistakes and faults is more endearing and human to your colleagues and will get you much further than pretending to be perfect.

Have you read Lean In? What did you think? Do you think these tips could help you tackle workplace anxiety?

Until next time,

Book review: The Flawed Ones

The Flawed Ones - A Story of Mental Illness, Addiction and Love by Jay Chirino

Jay Chirino has experienced depression and anxiety since childhood. His mental illness lead to self-medicating with alcohol and drugs. All of this is openly and honestly admitted in the opening lines of the introduction to his new book The Flawed Ones. The introduction is strong, and relays Chirino's struggles, his motivation behind the book, and the admission that he is still on meds for his mental health. (Thank God someone is admitting it!)

"...a few months back, someone asked me what I wanted most when I was going through my depression, and after thinking about it for a while, I figured it out. What I am trying to accomplish with this story is to help you see that you are not alone."

However, the book isn't a memoir. Instead it draws on Chirino's real life experiences with mental illness, addiction and the psych ward, blending fiction with his lived reality.

Following admission for a 72-hour psychiatric hold, Jay experiences life on the psych ward and the many characters that call it home.

The book deals with not only the expected themes of mental illness, stigma, and addiction, but also with religion, perception, love and failures of the healthcare system.

Its strongest points are when Jay is in conversation with his psychiatrist. He relates what it's like being in a depressive episode, telling the story of his mental illness and where it came from. Clearly, these are pieces that come from Jay's real experience, rather than a semi-fictional account. This is not a memoir, but I often wished it was. Chirino's real-life story is the most intriguing part of the book. There's an honesty to the words in these parts that is lacking elsewhere; even if his memories to his psychiatrist are full of more flowery embellishments than most people would ever share verbally.

The blend of fiction and reality wasn't always seamless. Characters were overly described, rather than revealed. The constant commenting on women's appearance comes across as seedy rather than what-I-hope-was-the-intended subtle. But its strengths lie in the honesty of mental illness and addiction and the hope of recovery.

The book is due to be published on 1 November 2017.

Find out more:

Website: http://www.theflawedones.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theflawedones
Twitter: https://twitter.com/theflawedones
Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35893903-the-flawed-ones---a-story-of-mental-illness-addiction-and-love

*Disclaimer* This book was given to me in return for a review, however the review is entirely my own opinion. 

50 Ways to Yay - Yay or Nay?

Alexi Panos - 50 Ways to Yay!: Transformative Tools for Less Stress, More Presence, and a Whole Lot of Happy

I've just finished reading 50 Ways to Yay by Alexi Panos on my Kindle.

The book is described in its own introduction as “fifty inspired and thought-provoking lessons and exercises to help you break out of the ordinary and jump into the extraordinary.” It's a mix of philosophy, popular psychology and personal development; all brought together to guide you in becoming the person you want to be. Panos combines her own personal anecdotes with real world reflection and knowledge in her 50 life tips.

"There are many secrets to success and happiness out there, but very few people are actually WILLING to apply them to their lives."

When it comes to goal setting and making New Year’s resolutions, this is the book you want beside you as you make your plans. The tips are broad enough to fit anyone at any time in their life - but they are given specificity through Panos' own personal experiences that she weaves throughout. he book is easy to read. Each chapter is short and succinct, and centred around reaffirming one single point. But putting the theory into action is the hardest part, and it’s the part that can actually make a difference to your life.

The book is designed to help you focus on the little things that make a big difference. Panos herself explains in the opening; “I made this book as fun and easy to digest as I could, so that you can actually TAKE ACTION and experience the results that you’re truly after.”

She likes Caps Lock. A lot. Like, nearly every sentence has to have at least one word in All Caps to reaffirm her point. As a writer, I always find All Caps jarring. It's the type of shouty tone we associate with Trump tweets rather than a self-help book.

"Every time we use the words "I AM" we are sending instructions to our body and mind to think, feel, and act a certain way."

In order to make the most of the book, you really need to be reading it with your journal next to you. Each chapter (or tip) ends with a Mission and Reflection to help you to apply the tip to your own life and start taking steps towards achieving your goals. But I must admit, I didn't use it in that way. While it is unique in offering Panos' own personal insight, it read more like the wise teachings of the Dalai Lama at times, and not in a way that suggests Panos is the next Dalai Lama. The tips offered were not new, it was filled with age-old wisdom passed off as her own thoughts like the below:

“Those who are happy with nothing are happy with everything.”

If you haven't read many other self-help books and want to dip your toe in the water, then this book is for you. If however, like me, this is your 25th self-help book in a year, its content is probably not worth your investment.

Nay.

Find out more about Alexi Panos here.

Nothing Tastes As Good: the mental health take on eating disorders

Have I told you how much I love Young Adult fiction? Even better, is Irish YA, and even better again, Irish YA which tackles mental health.

How could I resist Claire Hennessy's Nothing Tastes as Good?

Nothing Tastes as Good was released last year and has already been shortlisted and nominated for a number of literary awards.

Annabel, is sent as a spirit guide to former classmate Julia. The only problem? Julia is fat, and Annabel detests fat. Acting as her inner voice, Annabel urges Julia to assert control over what she eats; a voice that caused Annabel's own demise.

Set in Ireland, the book details Julia's journey through her final year of school and Annabel's journey to get one final moment with her family. *This review contains some spoilers*

The characters were likeable. Who doesn't want a loyal and loving friend like Maria? Or a charming but genuinely nice guy like Gavin? And watching Julia grow throughout the novel made my heart swell with pride. And even Annabel. I found it hard to like Annabel at first. I felt sorry for her, yes. But I also hated helplessly watching as she tried to influence what Julia did with her own body. The part where Annabel finally realises the impact her death has had on her sister was incredibly moving, and it won me over completely to her character.
While the supernatural, otherworldly-ness of Anabel's 'ghost' can feel a bit jarring in an otherwise relateable school setting, the book has a great sense of humour and an honest, unpretty look at eating disorders.

"I don’t want to just be some cautionary tale." - Annabel

In many ways, this is a cautionary tale. Hennessy's accurate, and rare, portrayal of the mental health side of eating disorders speaks volumes about the power of the voice inside a teenage girl's head.

Annabel's guiding voice is the voice of pop culture and society telling us that being slim is beautiful. We consume images of skinny women daily; it's only natural for young women to assume that skinny is what is beautiful. And how easy it is to make young people feel like they're not good enough, pretty enough, thin enough.

However, I did feel that for people who are struggling with their own food issues, whether an eating disorder or something else, Annabel's realisation that it was her food obsession that killed her comes too late in the text. There is no questioning of Annabel's voice in Julia's head, Julia goes along with it, and readers are meant to know that it's unhealthy and wrong themselves.

I myself found this side of the text particularly difficult to read in January. Like many people, January was the month I pledged to finally get my body in shape. I wanted to eat better. I set myself the goal of exercising every single day. I have a bikini body to attain by my summer holidays after all.
But sometimes I would hear Annabel's voice in my head. Saying exercise more. Eat less.
Do you really need to eat cheese and crackers before bed? The answer is always 'yes' but Annabel's voice made me feel bad for making this choice.

For anyone with a history of eating disorders, or any mental illness, the book can be a difficult read. It's so eerily accurate that Annabel's voice doesn't always stop when you put the book down. But if you love YA for how it tackles the issues more 'grown-up' books are too scared to address, then you'll this.

Welcoming Negative Thoughts

Dr Claire Hayes' welcoming approach to life's challenges promises to transform your way of thinking.

Tackling my negative thoughts is my main aim for Don't Feed the Negativity month; but Irish psychologist Dr Claire Hayes says our reactions are just as important.

"Because you are defined not by life's imperfect moments, but by your reaction to them. And because there is joy in embracing - rather than running from - the utter absurdity of life." - Jenny Lawson

'How to Cope: The Welcoming Approach to Life’s Challenges' by Dr Claire Hayes, the clinical director of mental health organisation AWARE, introduces coping techniques to readers who experience depression, anxiety stress, or just overthinking. Published in 2015, Dr Hayes builds on the work of CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) to discuss how our thoughts affect what we believe and how we feel. Instead of defeating these thoughts, Dr Hayes suggests we welcome them instead. Framed around examples from her clinical practice, 'How to Cope' is an accessible approach to implementing CBT practices.

Book Review: Let it Out - Katie Dalebout

This month I was blessed to stumble across a new book on journaling - 'Let it Out' by Katie Dalebout. After reading My Mad Fat Diary last month, I was inspired to try my hand at journaling and keep my own journal to chart my mental health journey.

Essentially, journaling is writing frequently. For many people, their blog is their journal. But it is difficult to be 100% honest with yourself on such a public platform. Despite sharing details about my mental illness online, I also need a more private reflection to capture my daily struggles, frustrations, setbacks, achievements and gratitudes.
It’s a personal diary, so to speak.

And Katie Dalebout’s ‘Let it Out’ is exactly the book I needed to guide me along my journaling path.

Be Free from Consuming Thoughts

My Mad Fat Diary and Journaling

This month I'm trying to Be Free. It's been a journey so far (more on that in my April conclusion) and part of that journey involved freeing myself from my past. But my mental health difficulties aren't all in the past - I also need to free myself of my fears, worries, and negative thoughts on a regular basis.

That's where writing comes in.
I find writing to be a great coping mechanism for my mental illness and I enjoy the therapeutic and learning process blogging enables. Sure I write my blog posts every couple of days; but often the feelings and thoughts I struggle with are too personal for public consumption on my blog.


But I've been inspired.
Just two weeks ago I started reading Rae Earl's 'My Mad Fat Diary'. I couldn't put it down and I finished the book in just three days.

**I requested to review My Mad Fat Diary from Netgalley.** 

You may have seen the ads for the TV show on E4, or maybe even watched it yourself. I had watched the adverts but never quite gotten around to the show itself. The basic premise is that on release from a psychiatric ward, 17-year-old Rae kept a diary for 365 days in 1989. The result is a very humorous and honest telling of what it's like being an overweight teenage girl with severe OCD. Everything from being bullied to falling in and out of love quicker than Rae can get a description of said guy down on paper is captured with a real sense of humour in the book.
But Rae also has an intellect far beyond her own years and the rest of her small town. She understands and questions world politics. She empathizes with the pain and suffering of others. She criticizes the expectations that come with being a woman.

The Happiness Project

Last week I finished reading The Happiness Project by Gretchen Ruben. Finding herself with a full life built around her, a job, a marriage and two kids, Gretchen realised she wasn't actually happy with her life. The title is cheesy, even the concept of trying to make yourself happier is cheesy, but it's actually a project that hundreds of thousands of people have found helpful.
What happens when you have it all and yet you still aren't happy?

Gretchen decided to actively find ways to improve her happiness. She set up Commandments and Virtues, like Benjamin Franklin's Thirteen Virtues, that would guide her happiness. These included the ever vague, but also inspiring, 'Be Gretchen'.

Autumn Reading List

I'm a read-aholic. It's something I've noticed lately. I race from one book to the next often forgetting to contemplate what has happened in the book I just finished. I also have the compulsion to finish every book I start; even when it's awful (like Miranda Hart's 'Is it just me?' I mentioned in my Summer Reading List). 

However, I am yet to finish Miranda Hart's bio, it remains on my shelf for when my current book supply runs out. In the meantime, here's what I've been hooked on this season:

The Girl on the Train - Paula Hawkins

I feel like this book has been around for ages because I've been seeing it and wanting it for so long. Although I am always skeptical of really popular fiction books - as if they may not be worth the hype; Boy was I wrong to be skeptical with this one. Told from three points of view the story is immediately gripping, because it could be about any of us and the day-to-day lives we witness and play a part in. It's intense and thrilling. 

Bressie; Me and My Mate Jeffrey

I was lucky enough to win a copy of Niall Breslin's book 'Me and My Mate Jeffrey' from the charity MyMind on Twitter.

Niall, or Bressie as he's better known around the country, has openly spoken about his battles with anxiety and depression over the last few years. He's played a huge role in helping create the change in mental health discourse in Ireland that's slowly been breaking down some of the stigma around the issue.

The book is Bressie's way to tell his whole story; from a kid moving to Israel to his decision to set up My 1000 hours. In a 10 minute interview, or a 30 minute speech, it can prove difficult to get the whole picture. There is no way to paint a realistic picture of mental illness or tell your whole story in such a short time frame. And so 'Me and My Mate Jeffrey' (he named his depression Jeffrey, hence the book title) introduces us to the fuller picture, and in turn paints the everyday reality of what it's like to struggle with your own mind.


Bressie writes in a very relatable way - well at least for us Irish. It's full of Irish colloquialism. Swear words and all. In this way, the book is accessible for Irish audiences, and as it's littered with rugby tales, it's extra accessible for young Irish males - one sector of the population who have the most difficulty with talking about mental health.

It's groundbreaking in a sense. Never has an Irish male, and a famous one at that, opened up his soul to this extent. Whether it's the pure agony of fighting for your very breath, or the type of mental anguish that causes you to break your own limb; there hasn't been honesty like this in an accessible book before.

Mental health issues in teenagers are often difficult to spot. Bressie talks about his school years with reference to an inability to relate to his peers, being socially awkward and reclusive, and his introduction to anxiety in the Holy Land. It's easy to dismiss such symptoms of mental illness as teenage moodiness, hormones, or just as part of the growing up process.

I found myself in tears by Chapter 2. I could relate so much, it was like reading my own story at times. Despite a ten year age gap, different counties and different genders, our early mental health experiences were eerily similar right down to the first self-harming incident during the Junior Certificate exams year.

Bressie found help in his late twenties. It was a small step he'd been fighting against for a decade. And it made me realise how lucky I am to have had my diagnosis and started seeking help at 18 years of age. What a difference that has made to my life.

The story is incredibly honest and moving. With fantastic advice and moments of self-realisation:

"By getting to know Jeffrey, I was becoming much more aware of myself. I realised that Jeffrey was not a weakness..."

And while he found relief in sports and challenging himself physically, he had these wise words about how the mind is different:

"If you have never run you cannot expect to go out and do a marathon, and it's the same with the mind - it needs to be trained and guided."

And that while challenges still come:

"It was the fact that I was able to experience these real moments of happiness that indicated I was well and truly on my way down the road of recovery."

It's probably that last quote that resonated with me the most. I have these real moments of happiness and that's how you know how far you've come.

For anyone, male or female, young or old, personal experience with mental illness or not, this book has something to teach you. Whether it's about recognising the signs in others, gaining an understanding of what it's like to live with a mental illness, or finding the right course of treatment for you and overcoming adversity, there's much to gain. It's inspirational to see someone at their lowest and follow their journey to recovery. There's motivation to anyone who is struggling to find the light.

And whatever you might think of The Blizzards, The Voice of Ireland, or the Ironman events, there is no denying that Niall Breslin is one brave man.

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The Anxious Girl's Guide to Dating

One of the realest grown up challenges I'm facing is dating. Like, how does this happen in the real world? Is it possible to meet someone on the commute to work? Should I give Tinder another go? (The answer to that last question at least is no.)

All of the pressure of being 23 and single despite my life plans to have been engaged by now (I can confirm these life plans have changed dramatically thanks to some common sense, being fabulous as I am and usually happy with singledom), sometimes gets to me. Like, when you just want a cuddle. Or someone to buy you flowers just because. All of this culminated in the below Tweet.

Not even my friends took my plea seriously. As evident by the lack of RTs.

But then I was emailed by Hattie Cooper (click on her name and check out her blog!) who has a little self help book out called 'The Anxious Girl's Guide to Dating'. And I thought, 'what perfect timing in the midst of my quarter life crisis!' You see, like Hattie I have anxiety. Thankfully, it doesn't impact on all aspects of my life and mainly centres around social anxiety. However, social anxiety is like the opposite of 'not extreme' when it comes to dating. So I gave the book a read just to see what little things I can do to improve my social interactions as a whole. And it ties in with my August Ambition to read more self help books! 

"There was a small part of me that took pride in not “needing” to be in a relationship. But there was an even smaller, softer, yet somehow louder part of me that often marched up to me in the middle of the night and shouted that I wanted to share my life with someone.  I wanted to talk with someone about my day."

You Need to Feel Life's Terror

Something that's been a under-rated help for me over the years is reading about depression.
Learning about other people's experiences normalises it. It helps you feel so much less alone. And it's allowed me to grow with my mental illness and better understand it.

Matt Haig has become the latest in a line of authors to write about their experiences with mental illness. His book 'Reasons to Stay Alive' is a small little hard-backed book full of recollections, lists and surprisingly for a book about depression and anxiety - humour.

Whether it's those things your depression tells you, or what it's like to go to the shop in the height of your low, Haig doesn't ignore the fact that the behaviour of a depressive is highly irrational. By looking at irrational actions and thought patterns from a distance, they are funny, because it's strange to look back at how it effected your behaviour and how  far you've come.

He talks about the gulf between what you feel and what you're expected to feel. How you can have everything going for you and still fall apart. He points out how we should say 'because of my depression', rather than 'in spite of'. I am happy now BECAUSE of my depression, not in spite of it. I found what my true passions were BECAUSE of my depression, not in spite of it.

It can be tough reading books like this. They always remind you of  part of your mental illness that you'd forgotten.
"Oh, my brain felt fuzzy a lot of the time back then, just like how Matt describes it." "I remember always feeling clammy too."
It brings back repressed moments, emotions, and pain. But again, you must tell yourself that it is just a reminder of how far you have come.

One of my favourite parts of the book is Haig's list of celebrities. Rather than repeating those lists of dead celebrities, those who took their own lives in lost battles with the 'black dog', Haig celebrates those who made it through. Over two pages he names famous people who chose to live, who continued and continue to fight the 'black dog', who overcome mental illness on a daily basis.

Haig says;

"You need to feel life's terror to feel its wonder."

and I completely agree. I feel and experience true happiness every day now because I have come from something so awful. This book is a must read.

"The tunnel does have light at the end of it, even if we aren't able to see it."

13 Reasons Why - Jay Asher

Over the summer I read this book by Jay Asher. It's called 13 Reasons Why and was recommended online as a good book to read if you enjoyed The Fault In Our Stars.

13 Reasons Why runs with the tagline,

'There are 13 reasons why your friend died. You are one of them.'

August Book Read

How is it the end of August? How has my summer ended already? *insert sad face emoticon here*

Well regardless of how much faster time passes with the older you get, the end of the month spells my monthly Book Review.

The Popular Novel:

The Fault In Our Stars, John Green

You know the plot. Either you've read it already, seen the film, or at least been subject to the hype that surrounds both. Even my mother said 'I saw an ad for that' when I described the book for her.

Basic Plot: Teenage girl (Hazel) has cancer. Teenage girl meets teenage boy (Augustus) in recovery from cancer. They fall in love. But they're kids with cancer, it was never going to end 'Happily Ever After'.

I knew all of this. I didn't start reading the book blindly, in fact I knew exactly how it ended thanks to a spoiler from my loving younger sister. It also wasn't the first John Green novel I read, so I knew to expect his emotional telling of teenage love.