Pinpointing your Stress

Stress is a key component of our everyday, modern lives. We expect to be stressed; it's a sign of success. It's an indicator that we are busy, in-demand people. But it's not healthy.

A huge part of self care is about recognising when we’re stressed, under pressure or generally suffering with a lot of anxiety and taking measures to alleviate it. For me, stress leads to me being run down. And along with experiencing a lot of worry mentally, my body reacts physically as well.

Here are the physical symptoms of stress that I exhibit:
- mouth ulcers
- psoriasis
- migraines
- swollen glands - inflamed throat
- difficulty sleeping
- irritability

Practicing self care methods can help us to feel calmer, healthier and reduce the physical symptoms of stress.

This month I’ve been keeping an eye on my own stress levels with regular stress tests.
When you’re working a full time job, working a part-time evening and weekend job, plus teaching a class, volunteering, and running a blog, you can struggle to find time to breathe. At least I do.

Even Superheroes Have Sidekicks

“Showing emotional vulnerability may make us fear rejection. But once you become accustomed to doing it, it will become a way of life and will build self-confidence.”
– Maria Arpa, ‘The Heart of Mindful Relationships’

I’m not good at sharing my feelings.

I am one of the most stubborn and guarded people you are ever likely to meet, if we ever have the pleasure of meeting of course. I have gotten through years of friendships without the other person ever knowing anything about my family, how many siblings I have, how many relationships I've had, whether I have a pet or not.

I don’t do it on purpose, I have just never been someone who intentionally shares details of my their life with others. I am more of a listener than a talker. And over the years a lot of my friendships have reflected that.

My month of authenticity in January taught me that I needed to be me more. And I am pleased to say I got better at it.

But I still find it hard to discuss when things aren’t good.

Food for Thoughts | Guest Post

Self Care practices differ for everyone. While I need to unwind and force myself to relax, others look to bigger lifestyle changes to care for their body and mind.

Today I'm delighted to host a guest blog from Oisín who has found that looking after your diet can have a huge impact on your mental health. Oisín is a journalism student and a frequent contributor to The Outspoken Post.

At the start of the year I decided to try eating a plant based diet for at least 6 months. My reasons for attempting a vegan diet was not due to some moral dilemma I had about eating meat or dairy products, but self care reasons, as I wanted to try and reduce anxiety and stress levels.

Creating a Self Care Box

Hello!
What better way to get my month of self care underway than be creating my own self care box?

But what is a self care box I hear you ask? Well I came up with the idea when reading '21 Days to Master Extreme Self Care' by Cheryl Richardson. In the book she talks about the importance of having a first aid kit – a well prepared plan of action in place before you need it.

So much of self care for me is about fending off the bad days. But with mental illness, that doesn't mean that there won't still be days when you feel like you've had enough and want to give up. Having a first aid kit prepared in advance means that you have somewhere and something to turn to for help.

Daily Self Care Moments

When trying to improve your mental health, sometimes having one big overarching resolution isn't enough.

To be honest, my first week of self care didn't get off to the best of starts. Sure I was feeling positive and happy on the 1st of February, but on Tuesday 2nd I was a bit of a mess.


I felt tired and grumpy, despite a good night's sleep and a cup of coffee. I just didn't feel like me.
Lethargic. That's the word that feels most suited to my feelings.
This lasted until Thursday, when I finally felt my moods somewhat lift.

How could all my positive work of authenticity fall apart as soon I started a new challenge?
How could it all go so wrong so fast?

Well the truth is that mental illness doesn't care how determined you are to be happier or how much you want to practice self care every day. Mental illness will prey on your insecurities and vulnerabilities. It'll demotivate you and attempt to block any efforts of productivity or self preservation. And that's exactly what it did to me on Tuesday. Writing about why I had been feeling crap helped; but talking about it made my fears and insecurities fall away.

Developing the habit of self care can't be achieved overnight. So I have decided to break it down, and I am making a number of small commitments to follow every day.

Do we have time for happiness?

Since I started exploring happiness with The Romeo Project, something that has consistently come up in the self-help literature is how time consuming the pursuit of happiness is.

As part of my month of Self Care,  I want to improve my happiness through the little things. 

It's about finding the time, and making the time, to bring in a little bit of happiness into our daily lives.

Currently, my answer to that question is no. Right now I feel overwhelmed by all I am trying to juggle; two jobs, volunteer work, teaching evening classes, blogging... How am I even meant to have a social life, yet alone a relationship, when I have so many other commitments? I spend so much time rushing from one place to the next, catching up on what I did miss from one evening to the next. I definitely do not feel like I have time happiness.

But often the little things that make us happy don't take up a lot of time. 

Source

This Huffington Post article from 2014 looks at the little things that require minimal time and effort to make you happy. They argue that according to Science, you do have time for happiness. No excuses.
Happiness can be found in the little things we do every day. And right now, I am grasping for it.

Here are the Huffington Post suggestions I want to incorporate into my day to day life this month.

Smile - I could definitely smile more. I do love that feeling when a stranger smiles at you, or when you greet a work colleague with a big smile in the morning. It releases endorphin's in both the smiler, and the other person on the receiving end.

Intro. to Self Care is Not Selfish

Happy February everyone!
And welcome to month two of my Romeo Project.

My second resolution of the year is ‘Self Care is Not Selfish’. It might seem pretty obvious to some of you that looking after ourselves is important, but over the years it has been something that has been difficult for me.

When I was 18 I was in the grips of severe depression.

I didn’t care for myself, my own safety, or my own health.

I didn’t eat. For a week I survived off of toast or threw up with anxiety.

I didn’t go to class.

I didn’t want to look after myself.

For me, self care is all about preserving good mental health. It’s the little things we do for ourselves; whether treating yourself to a hot chocolate, or getting an early night ahead of a big day in work, or just going for a walk in the good weather.