Let's stop blaming Trump's policies on mental illness

You can't blame Trump's policies on mental illness just because you don't understand where they've come from.

Okay, let's start with the obvious. Donald Trump is a "bad" dude. Let's all agree that he's a racist, misogynist, prejudiced and privileged man. Okay? Ok.

But does that make him mentally ill?

Well, according to a number of psychiatrists who have been keen to get their names out there, it does.

Criticism of Donald Trump has been veering towards slurs about his mental health for the past week. "He must be mentally ill" to have come up with such policies as the Immigration Ban. The media has been quick to jump on these psychiatrists who claim they have found a diagnosis to fit Trump (side note: let's not even get into why such a diagnosis is unethical and fundamentally flawed). I've also seen a large number of tweets and Facebook posts absolving Trump of responsibility for his actions and blaming it on an illness they suppose he has without any diagnosistic proof.

I have a problem with this. Mental illness is not an excuse for racism, or other bigoted views.
Mental illness diverts blame from a grown man onto a real, serious and life-threatening illness that affects millions of people. Using it in this way is only serving to restigmatise mental illness as something only the 'crazy' other has, rather than something 1 in 4 of us live with on a daily basis.
Mental illness is being used as a weapon against Trump. How can he be a fit President if he's mentally ill? I refuse to accept the label of mental illness as an insult.

Mental illness does not explain how millions of Americans, and others, have flocked to Donald and pledged their support for the way he is governing. Are they all mentally ill? Or just misinformed? 

Citing mental illness dismisses the prevalence of racist, Islamaphobic beliefs.
Mental illness ignores how the far right have gained a lot of popular support. And if we ignore it, how can we learn to stop it?

"In every generation, there are quite firm rules on how to behave when you are crazy." - Ian Hacking 

Here's the thing. 'Mental illness' has been used as an excuse for views that defy the 'norm' for hundreds (if not more) years. During the feminist movement, critics were quick to throw mental health labels at protesters too because they challenged the established society. And now, Trump too is challenging the progress towards a fair, just and equal society that has been made over the last few decades. And once again, 'mental illness' has been used to justify a belief system the rest of us cannot fathom.

The reality is that right-wing rhetoric has been growing for the past number of years all across the globe. The Christian right wing have been on the rise for years in America. Trump's policies have all been born out of that.
Trump was born in 1946.  He was brought up before the 1960's Civil Rights movement. Where black people had to use separate drinking fountains. Where the KKK were still very much active. The last lynching of a black man took place in 1955. He woke up one day suddenly an equal to these same people he had lived with as inferiors. Racism is not a sudden, and new concept to him.
Abortion laws have been rolled back to restrict access to abortion in Southern states for the past number of years. Alabama, for example, only had 3 clinics left at the time of the making of the Trapped documentary last year. Trump's pro-life stance is the natural evolution of such policies.
'Lad culture' has been normalising sexual harassment and rape culture for years; Trump's views on sexual assault are frankly not that surprising.
And he's narcissistic? I challenge you to point out one business CEO who doesn't display some narcissistic qualities. Again, this is not proof of a mental illness.
It's proof that he possess views and qualities based on his upbringing and who he is a person.

Trump may have a mental illness. He also may not. Does it matter? Why do we feel the need to slap labels on something just because we don't understand it? And why do we assume that those who are intolerant must have a mental illness when in fact they are just bigots?

I Just Want Back In Your Head

Why I practice Mindfulness

While I never fully embraced mindfulness in Tony Bates’ book ‘Coming through Depression’, it is something I’ve tried to practice since. I attended a workshop on it in college and I found it to be really useful. Last year, while at a volunteer workshop I rediscovered Mindfulness.
Through a simple deep breathing exercise, I immediately felt more relaxed, calmer, and my fears had left me. I swore that I'd keep it up in times of stress. While I can reflect a year on from this workshop that I haven't quite managed that, mindfulness is something I know that I should return to. And what better way to ensure I do that than through a blog post?

What is mindfulness?

Mindfulness is an ancient Buddhist tradition – It's said to be up to 6,000 years old.

The focus is on your present physical state. It teaches you to be aware of yourself, right now, as you are. That means no worrying about what you've done in the past, or what you will do in the future. 

The Mental Health Foundation give this kind of cheesy definition: 'To be aware of your negative thoughts and judgements and to let go of them, open yourself to new feelings, positive ones.'
I can hear you yelling 'hippie bullshit' from behind your screens, but hear me out first.

Being aware of negative thought and judgements is also a huge part of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), and people aren't as quick to discard that. And positive feelings can't be a bad thing in any context, can they?

Mindfulness does get a bad rep due to images like the one above - the idea of meditation and lots of humming.
And sometimes it's easier to describe what mindfulness is, by explaining what it isn't. It isn't a religion. It isn't meditation.
But it is more than possible to be 'aware' without sitting cross legged while burning your incense (But if that's what helps you reach mindfulness, that's okay too). 

Today, mindfulness is recognised by counsellors and therapists as a form of CBT.

Living In the Moment

A lot of counsellors like to go on about ‘the present’. The ‘here and now’. And while it’s easy to dismiss this as waffle, it actually has a lot of truth in it. This is a huge aspect of the practice of mindfulness. 

There is no point in living in the past; you cannot change it.

There is no point living in the future; you don’t know what will happen.

Living in the present is truly the only way to find happiness.

It sounded a little bit ‘hippie’ to me at first. But when you think about it, it does make a lot of sense.

Mindfulness teaches self-awareness in this way - recognising what's going on now, right at this moment in time. So if you're feeling particularly emotional, don't bottle it up or try to hide it. Embrace your sadness, let it out and reflect on why you're currently feeling this way.
Mindfulness also refers to consciously noticing when your mind wanders. If we're to really to live in the moment, you should be focused on the present, and not the million and one other things that fight for the forefront of your mind.

Benefits of Mindfulness:

• Used to treat physical and mental illnesses.
• Fights Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Anxiety.
• Helps to regulate emotions.
• Improves performance.
• Lowers levels of stress.
• Used to treat chronic pain e.g. arthritis.

Basically there are so many benefits, it is impossible to list them all.

Stay tuned for a very simple and easy mindfulness breathing technique over the next week that can help with stress and anxiety.

I HATE Blue Monday

And probably not for the reasons you think.

It’s the same every year. The most depressing day of the year comes around on the third or fourth Monday in January, and the media feed you story after story about how to fend off the dreaded Blue Monday.

Well I have news for you.

Depression is not a day of the year.

It is a real illness – ILLNESS.

Illness. 

Noun. 

A disease or period of sickness affecting the body or mind.

Stop using 'depressing' as an adjective to describe your feelings. It’s not a feeling.

Feelings are not dictated by a date. 

Stop pretending a scientific formula found this date to be the 'most depressing of the year'.

It trivialises mental health issues. You’re saying that my mental illness amounts to a crappy day at work. You’re saying that the illness I battled for years to overcome just lasts you 24 hours. You're saying that my 'sad' feelings on every other day of the year are not as valid or socially acceptable as they are on this day. 

There is a difference between feeling sadness, and being depressed.

If you have a crappy day where you feel sad and hopeless, on any day of the year, I’m sorry. I know it sucks. I know it can leave you unmotivated, exhausted, and exacerbated. But it is not depression. There is a clinical and medical difference between sadness and depression.

Blue Monday does nothing to address the reality of mental illness or the stigma that continues to be attached to it. It popularizes a 'depressing' feeling, but not the reality of living daily with and battling against a mental illness.

I would much rather see a discussion about how January can often trigger mental health difficulties, particularly in those with a history of mental illness. Not some bullshit bandwagon based on pseudo-science. 

Thinking about the future

For many reasons, the future can be scary. We don't know what's to come, or even what to expect. It's full of uncertainty and doubt.

The future can be, and has been for me, a problem for our mental health. Not knowing potential outcomes can lead to overthinking, negative thinking and patterns of self-doubt and criticism.

For a long time, I saw no future for myself. And when I did learn to keep on live, I couldn't see any happiness or success in my future.

But I'm also learning that the future isn't all bad.

Where to go from here?

One of my favourite things about January, is making New Year plans, goals and resolutions. and my bullet journal has come out in force the past week in preparation. So much so, that I've found myself actually looking forward to the year ahead and what it might have in store for me.

I've set myself several goals for the year; without going into specifics they revolve around the themes of self-confidence, budgeting, and upskilling.

And I've established a habit tracker to help me break my bad habits and develop new, better habits (yes, exercise is one of them).

I've been writing down birthdays, concerts, musicals, anniversaries and other upcoming events.

And it's left me this week feeling calm, good about myself, and somewhat like I-may-possibly-have-my-life-together. Possibly.

You see, in the darkness of my depression, during the worst days and the worst years, I couldn't see a future. The thought of one filled me with dread. Because despite everyone saying things do and would get better, I didn't feel it.

It took years of work, hard work of CBT and medication and counselling and the sheer effort of forcing myself to get out of bed and carry on, to change the way I felt. And years after my initial diagnosis, things are better and I know that in future, they can get better again.

Now, the future holds one thing I couldn't feel before.
Hope.

New Year's Resolutions for Self Care

As we all start to set goals and New Year's resolutions for 2017, it's worth remembering that the most important promises we can make are to look after ourselves.

When you set your New Year's resolutions this year, remember that goals don’t have to be big or external to you.

The little things have a huge impact on our mental health, and underpinning the acts of self care that work for you in your goals for the New Year can make all the difference.

To help you focus on the little things you can implement to improve your mental health and practice self care, I've thought up a few suggestions that you can include in your 2017 resolutions.

Here are FIVE of the things you can do to look after your mental health in 2017.

1. Take time out. A huge part of self care is having me-time. Social interaction is EXHAUSTING for me. No matter how much I like you, I also need time by myself too. I get overwhelmed by social occasions, even a day at work, and need to unwind afterwards with a cup of herbal tea, chilling in bed, or colouring-in.
2. Get outside. Fresh air, a walk in the forest, a brief spot of exercise, sitting on a park bench - it doesn't matter what you do when you get outside. Just be there, let the fresh air hit your lungs and you will start to feel calmer and more at peace. This is something I definitely need to do more of in 2017. 
3. Get offline. Whether it's for one day in a weekend or just one evening a week, try to limit the amount of time you spend in front of a screen, and particularly on social media. Social media can be damaging to your mental health, and often more specifically your self-esteem (I'm talking about all those group photos from a night out that you weren't on), so give yourself a well-deserved break. 
4. Try something new. Whether it's a CBT class, yoga, or even a gym membership put your money where your mind is and commit to trying something new for your mental health. Sure, you might find it's not for you but that's okay. If you hadn't tried first, you'd never know. 
5. Make a self care box. Seriously, I cannot plug this enough. Not only is it cute and pretty, but it’s just a relief to know you have a safe place to turn when you’re feeling down. See more on creating a self care box here. 

And there are so many others that you could add to this list and commit to in 2017.

I wish you all the best in the New Year - to a happier and more positive 2017!

My Life in the Woods: What I learned in 2016

What I learned from The Romeo Project

"I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours."― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

I really like this Henry David Thoreau quote. He was a man of many, many talents and professions according to his Wikipedia page. And surprisingly, despite being born 200 years ago next year, his writing is still relatable. Like many a modern-day self-help books, Thoreau's book Walden is an experiment in how to live well and simply. He relocates to Walden and lives in the woods, and then writes about it. It's described as a reflection on simple living in natural surroundings, a manual for self-reliance and a voyage for self discovery.

In many ways, this year has felt a lot like Thoreau's Walden experiment. I started my Romeo Project because I wanted to discover myself, discover happiness, and find a way to live better. (Mind you, I did not have the balls to go move away to the wilderness for my experiment.) But I did spend the year taking self-help book advice to heart and trying to change the way I lived my life so I could find happiness.

"I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived."― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

When you have a mental illness you often experience FOMO. (That's fear of missing out for those of you not down with the kids.) I have constantly experienced FOMO since I was 12 years old. I felt like I was missing out socially, by not having the right friends, any friends, close friends. I was missing out because of where I lived. I missed out academically because my illness meant I couldn't study. I felt unliked, unwelcome and alone for a long time. I felt like my personality was holding me back  until I found out I had depression and anxiety. Then I felt like my illness was holding me back.

I thought: If only I didn't feel like this I could do it. If only I wasn't depressed I would be liked. 

In reality, the only thing holding me back was me. Sure, my anxiety means I don't want to go to new places or meet new people. My depression means I can be lost in very negative and consuming thoughts. But there are ways to overcome your mental illness (or whatever else is holding you back) and live a full life. That's what self-help books thrive on - we want to know how other people overcame their burden. We consume these books in the hope that by osmosis we will feel happier. And when you have mental health problems, people just love to offer you solutions. From exercise to CBT classes, to health eating - people swear by these methods to improve your mental health.

The problem is, I ignored all advice for years. I never committed to making positive steps. I would try meditation once and without a quick-fix I gave up. I let my mental illness win. Time and time again I stood back and let my mental illness decide what I did or did not do. I never questioned it, I never challenged it.

This year, for the first time in my life, I decided that I wanted to win. Not my depression. Not my anxiety. But me.

My 10 resolutions explored methods of self care, tips for managing your inner critic, CBT, meditation and countless other tactics raved about in self-help books. I tried each method once, then moved on to another and another, constantly sampling what the world was preaching. I took not only the first step, but hundreds of further steps as I delved into potential solutions.

And there were some resolutions that stuck. I make sure I dedicate at least one evening per week to self-care. I know now that exercise does make me feel better about myself, and journaling helps me make sense of how I'm feeling. I invested time and effort in my mental health and I feel all the better for it.

The lesson
I guess if I were to sum this all up in a nice, neat concluding sentence, it would be to borrow this from Thoreau.

"If you have built castles in the air, your work need not be lost; that is where they should be. Now put the foundations under them." ― Henry David Thoreau, Walden: Or, Life in the Woods

I discovered that I can be depressed and anxious and still be happy. But I still have foundations to lay. I need to build upon the methods I am using now with practice, as well as trying new coping strategies too. Finding joy and hope and happiness this year doesn't mean that I now stop making any effort. Stepping off the pedal is exactly what my mental illness would love me to do to allow it to thrive. So I keep going, I keep making an effort and I keep searching for happiness to make sure that it never goes away.

My Blogmas of Quotes

I love the idea of Blogmas (because I love both blogging and Christmas). 

I also have two other passions when it comes to this time of the year – advent calendars and inspirational quotes. So, inspired by all of these things I have decided to do Blogmas slightly differently this year.

Every day in December, I will be sharing one beautiful quote that has inspired me through the Romeo Project. So much of the project had me stuck in self-help books, and thralling the internet for encouragement that I ended up writing down all of the heartwarming and uplifting quotes I stumbled across. And when better to root out this inspiration than during the cold spells and dark months. 

Day 1. on self-belief