I started off my bank holiday weekend with dinner and cocktails last Friday. This inevitably brought me to a bar. I say inevitably because where else would one get cocktails? And when you're 22, single, and at a bar there is an expectation to meet someone you are attracted to.
Maybe that expectation comes from friends, pop culture, family who are holding out hope for a wedding soon, or just from yourself. Sometimes we get sick of being single and lonely and tthat's okay too.
And I'm not overly fussy. I don't mean that in a bad way. Just give me a beard and a nice dresser and I'll swoon.
So I spotted myself a Glen Hansard lookalike. Now I don't know about you, but I'd never say Glen is the best looking guy in the world. Which is important to note for this story.
I sent my wing-woman over. To her credit, she did amazing work, and to his credit, he came over to our table. But he took one look at me and shook his head. And it hurt like hell.
I have been analysing the moment over the past few days. Thinking about the whys. You see, I looked fab that day. Just saying.
I mean yeah, I was in my casual Friday clothes from work. The same make-up since 7 am. And the wind had blown the curls out of my hair.
But I FELT fab - care free and confident.
I don't find every guy I meet attractive. So why do I want all of them to find me pretty?
So I spotted myself a Glen Hansard lookalike. Now I don't know about you, but I'd never say Glen is the best looking guy in the world. Which is important to note for this story.
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| Hey Glen |
I have been analysing the moment over the past few days. Thinking about the whys. You see, I looked fab that day. Just saying.
I mean yeah, I was in my casual Friday clothes from work. The same make-up since 7 am. And the wind had blown the curls out of my hair.
But I FELT fab - care free and confident.
I don't find every guy I meet attractive. So why do I want all of them to find me pretty?
Why when I felt so fab did I let this get to me?
Why am I still basing my sense of self confidence and beauty on other people's opinions?
Rejection, no matter by whom, stranger or friend, can still cut you. I hate that we rely so much on other people's opinions when forming our sense of self. I hate that it hurt me. I hate the awkwardness of dating. And the awkwardness of meeting people and socialising. I hate it.
But I also haven't done it in such a long time. I can't remember the last time I went to a bar and spotted a good looking fellow, yet alone the last time I had a handy wing woman on standby to get his attention for me. So I haven't faced that kind of blatant rejection in a long, long time. And I think it takes some getting used to.
It's especially hard when you put yourself out there. It's as if you're asking for opinions, and in turn rejection. There is no other social situation where it's even half acceptable to judge someone based soley on their looks.
Rejection, no matter by whom, stranger or friend, can still cut you. I hate that we rely so much on other people's opinions when forming our sense of self. I hate that it hurt me. I hate the awkwardness of dating. And the awkwardness of meeting people and socialising. I hate it.
But I also haven't done it in such a long time. I can't remember the last time I went to a bar and spotted a good looking fellow, yet alone the last time I had a handy wing woman on standby to get his attention for me. So I haven't faced that kind of blatant rejection in a long, long time. And I think it takes some getting used to.
It's especially hard when you put yourself out there. It's as if you're asking for opinions, and in turn rejection. There is no other social situation where it's even half acceptable to judge someone based soley on their looks.
So if bars and boys and possibly dating is going to become more common for me, then I'm going to have to develop thicker skin. I'm not saying it gets easier, but I'm clinging to the hope that it will.
Even when it is from Glen, rejection is tough to take.
...to be fair, he sounds like a really insensitive asshole to just shake his head and walk off so please please be thankful that you are better off that he didn't chat to you in the first place. Someone who could do that to *anyone* is really not worth your time!
ReplyDeleteJust keep your head up, keep on telling yourself you are fab and very pretty and someday you'll find the right guy who will sit down with you and have a good chat. x