Overcoming my lack of confidence | A Guest Post by Amy Mia Goldsmith

I’m really pleased to offer something different a little different this week! The very lovely Amy Mia Goldsmith from Australia is sharing her story of overcoming her lack of confidence and self-belief and becoming a beauty blogger. As I still struggle with issues of confidence I asked Amy to talk about her tips for learning to love yourself. It’s something I think we can all learn from.

Life can get tough sometimes, especially if you're a sensitive person and a dreamer like myself. In high school I fought against depression and serious lack of confidence. I became withdrawn and alienated, and for years I was living in my own "wonderland", reading books and listening to gothic music. But, eventually, I realized I cannot spend my whole life alone. Me time is good, but people are meant to socialize, and not everyone is mean. I was fortunate to meet people in college who cared enough to help me through tough times helped me and overcome my insecurity issues. For this, I mostly have to thank my husband. I never believed I would meet someone so special, but he came when I least expected and brought me back to life.

I Can by Amy

After I became a mother my whole world turned upside down and I realized you can never know what tomorrow brings. You have to stay positive and believe in yourself - and happiness will come when you least expect it.

#1 – Be authentic

One of the things that drained most of my energy was pretending to be someone I was not. I was hiding my sadness and put so much effort into making people like and accept me that I forgot who I was. No matter what, drop pretences just to please someone else and listen to yourself. Listen to music you like and makes you feel good, popular music is all fun and games but when I am sad I like listening to blues and jazz, it makes me feel better. Wear clothes that make you feel confident and good, color and design don’t really matter that much; what matters is your happiness alone.

#2 – Learn to say no

Because I was trying so hard to please everybody, I barely had time for myself. On some weekends when all I wanted is to stay at home and watch my favorite TV show, I would dress up and go out if a "friend" asked me for a favour. The day I started practicing saying "no" was the day my life started changing for the better. It doesn’t come overnight, and you have to practice a lot before you can say "no", but it’s worth it. It is important to say what you mean and mean what you say, it lifts the burden from your back. Of course, I will always have time and patience for my dearest friends and family, but when I feel like I was being taken for granted I draw the line.

#3 – Immerse yourself in whatever you decide to do

Quit worrying about your choices too much, it draws the joy out of everything you decide to do. Take up a hobby and let your creative juices flow, take initiative and ask someone out to get coffee or waffles, dance freely, sing in the shower, and always be passionate about what you love.

#4 – Healthy mind in a healthy body

The day I started exercising was another turning point in my life because I discovered that not only does workout help me look better, but sweat takes out all my negative energy as well. Swimming, dancing, riding my bike, and going to the gym helped me relase all the negative energy I piled up in years. After a workout I would go for walks or just go home and try out some smoothies, shakes and after workout drinks. So, at night I would sleep peacefully and wake up happy, which was something I could not ever dream of before. Once the results of my hard work started showing, I became more confident and happier in my own body.

#5 – Comparing is toxic

Stop comparing yourself to others. The moment you start comparing yourself to others and measuring your worth against somebody else’s, you are heading the wrong way. School, gym, friends… Your life belongs to you, make it count. We are all unique and beautiful and we should try to be the best we can. This does not mean better than someone else, but better than we were yesterday. Remember, you are the hero of your own life story, nobody else is.

Today I am a happy person with all my insecurities and troubles behind me. To be honest, there are still days when I wake up and feel bad, don’t feel like getting up, but it is normal to feel sad from time to time. I am satisfied with my life today and wouldn’t want to change anything and I believe this is my greatest success in life.

I hope these tips can help you in bad times. You have one life and it is a precious gift you should not waste on feeling sorry for yourself. We are all different, but this makes us unique.

About the Author

Amy Mia Goldsmith is a literature graduate from Melbourne who loves to write short stories and reviews. You can contact Amy on her Facebook page and Twitter.