Depression | What it feels like as told by gifs

1 in 4 people in Ireland will experience a mental illness at some point in their life. But everyone is affected by mental health. Whether it's having a rough day, the death of a relative, the end of a relationship, or the myriad of other knocks we get through life, feeling down is common. 

When I was younger I threw the term 'depressed' around a lot. Sure, I was sad so I must be depressed. In fact, I felt depressed. I never realised that there was a difference between the illness, depression, and feeling blue until I was diagnosed with depression.

It's hard to understand what a mental illness is like if you haven't gone through it yourself. I say the words 'hopelessness', 'numb', 'fatigue', and 'constant nausea' but even the most empathetic of people can struggle to relate.

Last week a few 12 year old kids I was supervising asked me about the book I was reading (Niall Breslin's 'Me and My Mate Jeffrey'). Despite giving countless talks about mental health and what it is like to have a mental illness, I struggled to convey in words what it felt like in terms they could understand. But, there's nothing like the power of a good old fashioned image to help when it comes to relating. And lately I've come across a number of .gifs that really hit home what it mental illness feels like to me on my worst days.

Here's what it's like to experience Depression as told through .gifs:

Life knocks everyone down from time to time. 

But those who are susceptible to depression find it harder to pick themselves back up.

The Pitfalls of Being a Big Sister

Back in August, I wrote a blog post on the Perks of Being a Big Sister. And believe me, there are many.
But I've also discovered some serious downsides over the past week.

Just over 7 days ago my little sister flew the nest and headed off to University. She packed her bags, bought groceries and a bed spread, and spent her first week moved out of our childhood home and into adulthood.

It's been 5 years since I made that journey myself. And for me, things hadn't exactly gone to plan.

Needless to say I didn't take it well. I messaged her every day; sometimes first thing in the morning to wish her good luck, and every evening to see how her day went.

Letter to My Future Self | World Suicide Prevention Day

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. It's a day where mental health charities issue statements and politicians make pledges.
Many of Ireland's famous buildings, like Croke Park, are lighting up orange today in solidarity with Cycle Against Suicide.

But to me, suicide is personal.

My depression brought with it suicidal thoughts.
There were times when I wished my life would end. There were times when I wanted to pick up that knife or those tablets or walk in front of that car. There were times when I tried to end it all.
I didn't think of suicide as a selfish act at the time. I couldn't think of anything other than how worthless I was. I tried to rationalise it, embed it with logic - No one will miss me. No one will notice. Now's exactly the right time. Don't wait any longer. They'll be better off without me. 

When I look at how suicide has affected me in the years since, I see how wrong I was. I've felt the loss of people I knew, people I barely knew, and some I didn't know at all to suicide. And every single one of them hurt me.

The theme of this World Suicide Prevention Day is reaching out and saving lives. So today I'm reaching out to myself. I'm making my own pledge. I'm pledging to live with a Letter to my Future Self.

Hey you,

I know things don't seem okay right now. I know you are down and feeling defeated, but I'm here to remind you that you are strong. That you have felt like this before, and you got through it. That you can get through it again.

Positive Thought of the Day

Tonight I'm heading back to Zumba for the first time in almost 3 months. I ended up taking the summer off as it just never suited, and I also was a little bit lazy. 

But now that I'm about to head back I am reminded of something my instructor always says.

There are no mistakes. Only Solo Moves.

My Week in Pictures

Something a little different for you all this Sunday. I took a lot of photos this week, and didn't have time to share them all on Instagram. So, I decided to turn them into a little blog post instead! Chill out and relax before heading back to work tomorrow morning, and and have a look at my week in pictures. 

Monday :-

My new positive affirmation poster has been placed right above my light switch beside my bedroom door so I can read every morning before I leave. 

Hello Autumn

Hello folks! Now that we're settled into September, Autumn is finally here. For me, this is a good thing. I quite like the chill in the air, the leaves on the ground, the run up to Christmas (no, too soon?). As most of you know, August was a test-run for my Autumn. With September, the schools start back and I return to working two jobs. It can be stressful at times, and the last two weeks have been extremely busy. And that's what my August was all about. I tried to build up my defenses, practice self care everyday, compile a list of stress reducing activities, and learn to love myself that little bit more. August was a good month. I came into September feeling ready for whatever life may throw at me. I feel mentally strong, not a phrase I have ever used before, but I feel like I know the value of my own self worth. It might sound silly, but I've never known that before. And it feels like a huge thing.

The Sad Ghost Club

As you know, I love exploring the internet for awesome mental health projects to share with you. This month, I discovered The Sad Ghost Club. I was struck firstly by the name, but as I explored their site, I found so much more behing that.

The Sad Ghost Club do a number of things. Their 'About Me' bio says this:

"The Sad Ghost Club is a club for anyone who’s ever felt sad or lost. It’s the club for those who don’t feel like they’re part of any other club. It’s run by just the two of us, Laura & Lize, and we love creating comics & zines to highlight the issues that a lot of ghosties go through." 

Predominantly, there's a store full of beautiful products that are prefect for gifts or as a treat for yourself. My personal favourite is their postcards: