Why it's okay to put yourself first

Do you ever feel guilty about putting yourself first?

Growing up as kids, we're always told from parents and teachers not to be selfish and to put others before yourself. And it's a great tool to be taught - it helps us make friends and learn about friendship on the playground.

But when you struggle with your mental health, sometimes it's good to be selfish. Sometimes we have to be selfish. And what we've been taught as kids can make us feel guilty and ashamed of this.

Ever made up an excuse to cancel plans with a friend because you didn't feel up for it? 

Or wanted to give up on your to-do plans and just crawl into bed after a day in work or college? 

Or tried to avoid your housemates after a tough day because you don't have the energy for small talk? 

Or felt like you had to lie to your work colleagues when they ask what you did at the weekend, rather than admit to the time you spent doing nothing by yourself?

And if you're like me, you probably felt like a bad person, a weak person and incredibly guilty.

Sometimes I just need a 'me night'. A night away from work, from friends and my partner. A night off from the gym and with nothing on my to-do list. I try to make sure I have at least one night like this a week. And when that evening comes around I do whatever I feel like doing. Whether it's curling up with a cup of tea and Netflix, colouring in or crafting, heading straight for bed at 7pm or maybe spending a few hours stuck in a book. It helps me to recover and rest after a long day. It ensures I can face tomorrow.

On bad weeks when I'm low and struggling with my mental health, sometimes I need two nights. And that's just midweek. I also crave one a night like this on weekends too.

And yes, I have had to cancel plans with friends to get this 'me time'. Usually with the flimsiest of excuses of working late or not feeling well, and then I've felt inadequate when I respond to my work colleagues questions with 'oh, nothing much'.

Sometimes I have to withdraw to look after my mental health. If it prevents me from burning out or breaking down, why should I feel guilty or flawed for that?

Self care is more than making a cup of tea or running a bath.
Often it’s broken down to these small acts. And while small acts are important, self care is so much more than that.

Self care is doing what helps your mental health, what makes you feel better and what allows you to get through another day. Sometimes all you need is a cup of tea. Maybe a chat with a friend. But other times, you need to withdraw and take the time to rebuild your defenses. So say no, take a night off and allow yourself the time and space to heal.

Self care is putting yourself first. You know better than anyone what you need to improve your mental health. It will differ from moment to moment and day to day, but do what your mental health needs. If it's canceling plans or hiding out in your bedroom for a bit, do it. And don't feel guilty or like you're failing as a person for it. It's not selfish to prioritise your mental health over tasks, social events or other people's expectations.

But self care is also making sure that putting yourself first doesn't mean you make a habit of isolating yourself. While I need my one night a week for me, I also know that seeing friends or having a chat with housemates boosts my mood on other days. I don't want to become isolated and cut-off, so I try to find a balance.

It's okay to take time out for you. It's okay to put yourself first, to withdraw for a bit and come back healthier and better able to face the next day.

You matter, so make you and your mental health a priority.

Until next time,

Love yourself this Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and I’m here to say DO NOT LET IT GET YOU DOWN. Whether you are single, broken hearted, or waiting for a match on Tinder, don't let a day about grand romantic gestures and loving another human dictate your self-worth.

Instead, show some love to yourself this Valentine's Day.

One thing I learned during my two years of singledom was that I'd never have a healthy relationship unless I loved myself first, rather than allowing another person's love define me. I had built my mental health around relationships and male approval. In school I felt like a failure for not having kissed a boy, and then for not having a boyfriend, and then for not having sex. When I finally got male attention, I dived straight in.

I had two break ups in my late teens, both leading to breakdowns resulting in self-harm and suicide attempts. While I had depression before and during these relationships, being with someone was the only thing keeping me alive. I had thought my mental illness made me unlovable. And so I felt worthless without a partner because I hadn’t yet learned to love myself.

Three years later and two years of being single and I learned that I was never going to have a truly happy, healthy relationship without learning to like myself when I didn't have a partner around. Over those years I invested time and energy in self-care and building self-esteem. When I finally met someone new, it was because I felt ready to invite someone else into my life. Although I knew I'd still need a lot of self-care and me-time.

Now here I am — 25, in a healthy relationship and happy.

So this Valentine's Day why not work on self-love rather than validation from another person?
Take the time to re-build yourself, feel empowered and loved.

It's time to get cheesy and love yourself.

Here's some of my suggestions for treating yourself this Valentine's Day.

Write yourself a letter
You know how your parents (or grandparents if you're younger than me...) used to write each other love letters when they were courting? Well I think it's adorable and a lost art. Write yourself a love letter this Valentines full of self-praise, encouragement and compliments. Because you are awesome and you deserve to be told so.

Buy yourself a bouquet of flowers

One summer's day a few years ago as I walked past a flower stall on the street, I realised I had always wanted someone to by me flowers. But so far, no one ever had. So I decided to buy myself a sun flower and it felt so good to have a beautiful flower to take home and display. Make a splurge and treat yourself to the bouquet of flowers you've always wanted.

Jar of why you love you
Need a pick-me-up? Why not make a jar of positive reasons you love yourself to look at on your bad days? I washed out and decoupaged an old jam jar (and made it look suitably cheesy), and printed and cut out strips of paper saying 'I love you because....'. Write down as many reasons you love yourself for you (your eyes, how you cope under pressure etc.) that it takes to fill up the jar. And you'll always have them when the going gets tough.

Pamper session
I'm talking fresh sheets on your bed, a bubble bath, face masks, do your nails. Whatever it is that makes you feel more confident in how you look, do it. Body positivity affects mental health, and cultivating a healthy body image is so important. Treat yourself and do what makes you feel good and comfortable in you.

Create a self-care box
A self-care box can be anything you want it to be. All you need is a box, and all the things that bring you comfort and make you feel better. My self-care box contains a journal, some of my favourite herbal teas, a packet of nerds, hot chocolate, a small colouring book and a letter to my future self to read on hard days. Not only is it cute and pretty, but it’s just a relief to know you have a safe place to turn when you’re feeling down. See more on creating a self care box here.

Get an early night

Sleep is underrated. You deserve the best, so get into bed early and catch up on your rest. 

Until next time,

Five things I do every day for my mental health

There are many things that those of us living with a mental illness have to do just to get through the day. Some days are harder than others, some weeks don't even have ONE good day. But through it all there are five things that I do every single day to help manage, protect and promote the best possible mental health.

Here are the five things I do every day for my mental health.

1) Get up early
I love mornings. I get up in plenty of time before work to allow me to shower, do my hair and make-up and generally get ready without feeling rushed and stressed. I make the time to have a sitdown breakfast, catch up on any messages I received over night, and look over my planner journal before I have to head off and face the day!

2) Make a to-do list
I usually make this list the night before, but having my to-do list to hand keeps me right. I need a routine. I need to write down tasks and goals so that I actually do them. I need the sense of accomplishment you get from ticking off an item on your to-do list. I need to feel like I’m not back on my worst days where I'm unable to function, and I have nothing to show for staying in bed. So, every day I write down dates and tasks and anything that comes to mind, then combine them in my journal in the evening. Before I leave the house in the morning I always take a look at my tasks for the day and leave with a focus in mind. Here's to productivity!

3) Eat well
I'm not good at sticking to this, and I don't stick to it religiously but I do try to make a conscious effort to eat more healthy than I used to. I keep my bottle of water refilled in work, I always have berries and yoghurt in the fridge, and just love the evenings where I can prepare a nice salad or make a some healthy eggs. Don't get me wrong, I love to snack on cereal and some chocolate at night, but I rest assured that at least my lunch is healthy and that makes me feel better about life.

4) Take my meds
I need to take medication to manage my mental illness. This one time I stopped and my entire world collapsed and I thought I was going to die. So now I take them every single evening, around 9:30pm, before I go to bed. Within an hour and a half (at the very longest!) I am sound asleep. I'm okay with the fact that I've been on medication for five years, and they're a very important part of my daily self care.

5) Go to bed early

One thing I've learned over the years of battling my depression and anxiety is how much I need my rest. Not only does my medication make me tired, but after a long day of acting like a mentally-stable and fully-functioning human being, I need SLEEP! Trust me, pretending you're okay is mentally draining and exhausting, and my 9:30pm I'm in bed watching a TV show and colouring in to recover from the daily stress. This means 1) I'm asleep by around 11pm every night, and 2) I wake up at 6:45am with eight hours of sleep and feeling refreshed, and ready to face another day.

It's not always easy living with a mental illness. What do you have to do daily to stay sane?

I’m not happy with my body

I'm getting very personal today. It's something I've been struggling with for a while now, but have been too self-conscious and embarrassed to share. But it's about time I was brave and admitted I'm struggling and I'm not okay. Trigger warning: weight issues.

I wanted to let you know that I'm struggling with my body; my new healthy body. 

I don’t like the way I look.

When I’m out, in particular out in a dress, I feel self-conscious. And without meaning to, I compare my body size and shape with everyone else’s.

I wish I was thinner.

For the past year I’ve been struggling with my body confidence. It comes and goes. Some days I’m happy with how I look, how my curves fit into my clothes, the slight definition of muscle starting to form.

Other days I’m not. I hate how my tummy hangs out over my jeans, how my love handles are prominent under a tight t-shirt, how thick my thighs are. I feel fat and frumpy and big.
The word big sticks out in my mind.

I was out at the weekend in a pretty dress, bare legs and heels. And midday way through the night I realised I looked so much bigger than the other girls here. My legs looked so much bigger than my friends in photos. I couldn't stand how big I looked. And with that my night was ruined. I cried and called it a night.

But yet big feels unreasonable.

The average dress size in the UK is supposedly a size 16. I’m a size 10 and yet I still feel ‘too big’. My mind likes to defy reason, logic and argument.

When I was diagnosed with depression, I was 18 years old and I weighed 7.5 stone, which is 47kg. I was severely underweight. At first, the doctors thought I had an eating disorder, rather than just a lack of appetite because of my depression.

I was encouraged to eat and get to a ‘healthy’ 60kg. One of the side effects of the medication I was put on is weight gain. My mirtazapine stimulated my appetite. And over the years I started to put on and retain weight for the first time in my life.

Now I'm 25, and I've surpassed my 60kg prescribed goal.

And I've had comments about my weight gain for over a year.

'Zoe's put on a good bit of weight, hasn't she?'

'You are a little bit fat though, aren't you?' 

'You've a lot of meat on your bones.'

'A healthy 60kg' repeats in my head.

Too big. Too big. Too big.

I'm sick of feeling dissociated with my body. I'm sick of feeling like I don't belong in my own body. I'm sick of feeling awkward, ugly, BIG. And right now it's so hard to convince myself I'm healthy; that my body is worth cherishing - every roll, scar and stretch mark of it.

I wanted to let you know that I'm struggling with my body; my new healthy body. I don't know how to overcome it yet, but I'm trying. And I promise I'll keep trying.

Until next time,

It's been six years since I was labelled 'depressed'

This month marks six years since my diagnosis with depression. And boy has it been a whirlwind of ups and downs, battles, wins and losses. Many of which have been documented on this here blog.

I've graduated from university. Twice.

I've had three internships, one part-time job, and one full-time permanent job.
I'm on my third cat and also gained two dogs.
I've gone from self-harm to self care.
I've been diagnosed with anxiety.
I've faced stigma in the workplace.
I've faced stigma from my peers.
I've stigmatised myself.
I've turned my mental illness into something positive.
I've been interviewed about my mental illness on national TV and in national newspapers.
I've found a positive and supportive relationship.

As I write this, I feel content.
I am happy with where I am in my life. My job. My home. My relationships.
I am happy with what I can see in my future.
I take two types of medication daily.
I have more good days than bad days.
I've found a balance between self care and my commitments. It's not always perfect, but I get there in the end.

I cringe at the word 'recovery'. It's been six years and I am not recovered. Am I in recovery? Maybe. Maybe not.
My mental illness has been a journey. I'm still on this journey.
But I'm still celebrating. The fact that I am still on this journey is a victory.

It's been six years since I was labelled 'depressed'. I've learned to love this label, and everything that it's brought with it into my life. Both the good and the bad. Here's to the next six.

New Year's Resolutions for Self Care

As we all start to set goals and New Year's resolutions for 2017, it's worth remembering that the most important promises we can make are to look after ourselves.

When you set your New Year's resolutions this year, remember that goals don’t have to be big or external to you.

The little things have a huge impact on our mental health, and underpinning the acts of self care that work for you in your goals for the New Year can make all the difference.

To help you focus on the little things you can implement to improve your mental health and practice self care, I've thought up a few suggestions that you can include in your 2017 resolutions.

Here are FIVE of the things you can do to look after your mental health in 2017.

1. Take time out. A huge part of self care is having me-time. Social interaction is EXHAUSTING for me. No matter how much I like you, I also need time by myself too. I get overwhelmed by social occasions, even a day at work, and need to unwind afterwards with a cup of herbal tea, chilling in bed, or colouring-in.
2. Get outside. Fresh air, a walk in the forest, a brief spot of exercise, sitting on a park bench - it doesn't matter what you do when you get outside. Just be there, let the fresh air hit your lungs and you will start to feel calmer and more at peace. This is something I definitely need to do more of in 2017. 
3. Get offline. Whether it's for one day in a weekend or just one evening a week, try to limit the amount of time you spend in front of a screen, and particularly on social media. Social media can be damaging to your mental health, and often more specifically your self-esteem (I'm talking about all those group photos from a night out that you weren't on), so give yourself a well-deserved break. 
4. Try something new. Whether it's a CBT class, yoga, or even a gym membership put your money where your mind is and commit to trying something new for your mental health. Sure, you might find it's not for you but that's okay. If you hadn't tried first, you'd never know. 
5. Make a self care box. Seriously, I cannot plug this enough. Not only is it cute and pretty, but it’s just a relief to know you have a safe place to turn when you’re feeling down. See more on creating a self care box here. 

And there are so many others that you could add to this list and commit to in 2017.

I wish you all the best in the New Year - to a happier and more positive 2017!

Letting Go/Moving On

"Sometimes we carry a burden from the day; a hurt, an anger or an unhappy recollection. The end of the day is the time to let these things go. Note these thoughts, face them and acknowledge them - and then dismiss them." - Adam Ford

Last month I was delving into my past and sharing my mental health journey on the blog. Writing about my illness was therapeutic, but I need to fully move on from my past.

There are lots of books about leaving the past behind. Many religious self-help books deal with breaking free from your past and the salvation offered by religion. But that's not for me.

I want to find productive ways of being free from what held me back in the past; be it, bullying, self-doubt, self-hatred, stigma.

From reviewing the self-help literature on the topic the consensus is that we must follow certain steps to be free and move on from the past. These steps roughly go as follows:

1. Acknowledge the emotions
2. Let go of anger and blame
3. Let go of guilt
4. Forgive yourself

In March, Embrace Your Past allowed me to acknowledge my emotions. But now I have to find a way of letting them go.

So how do we let go?

Why I Thought Self Care was Selfish | A Conclusion

“It can be easier to break a habit than it is to establish one. We may sometimes feel lazy and reluctant to bother with a daily walk, especially if the weather is uninviting, wet, windy or cold; but it always turns out to be worth the effort.” – Adam Ford, ‘The Art of Mindful Walking’

As February comes to an end, I'm starting to wish I didn't pick the shortest month of the year for my Self Care is Not Selfish resolution.

It’s safe to say that I am not used to putting myself and my own needs first. I am a people pleaser. I find it hard to say no; that’s how I end up taking on so much. And other people’s needs always seem more worthy.

Not too long ago, but in what I thought of as a distant past, I thought I was worthless. And so I didn’t value my own health, happiness, safety or values.
I've learned this month that I often still live with that same mindset. I still question how deserving of happiness I really am.

And that's not okay.

I have to admit, I also used to believe that putting yourself first was selfish.
The reality is that it's not. Taking a break preserves your own sanity.

And this month was my chance to be selfish.

And while I did try, my mental health took a battering this month. Hindsight is a wonderful thing. The past week has been tough, and while there were better days in earlier February, they are not easy to see right now.
I struggled to feel happy. I felt overwhelmed and under extreme pressure; not just in work, but to feel this supposed happiness I was lacking.

My mission was to make self care a habit rather than a task.
And self care has slowly started to seep itself into my every day life. I don't restrict my wants (new stationary, new earphones, coffee). But I do sometimes still restrict my needs - like not taking a sick day when I can't speak or use my left hand.

My four weeks dedicated to self care hasn't seen my mental health improve. If anything, it's gone the other way. But that's not down to the resolution. It's because of life events and circumstances outside of The Romeo Project's control. I just need to get better at coping with these uncontrollable events. The month has not been wasted however, and it is important to acknowledge that. I have established safety mechanisms (my Self Care Box) and I am more comfortable speaking about my mental health in the real world (i.e. off the blog and to an actual person). And those, while small victories, are victories nonetheless.

Favourite Book of the month:
‘Self Care For Life’ by Alexander Skye and Leester Meera.
This book is full of self care suggestions and weekly inspiration. It’s one of my favourite books of The Romeo Project so far.

This takes me into March, and a month of embracing my past. Wish me luck. Things are about to get personal. 

Self Care Journal

I'm still raving about self care! You know me, I love saying I'll commit to something but then failing to do so for any considerable period of time. Thankfully, Zoe does commit well to nice notebooks and list-making. And this is where a Self Care Journal comes in.

If, like me, you've felt that you were failing to really practice self care during Self Care is Not Selfish month, there are still little things we can do that can make a big, positive impact on our mental health.

Alas, all of your self care needs have been met with Rachelle Abellar's Self Care Journal. It's a great little illustrated journal filled with 100 pages of prompts all about looking after your mental health. Whether you have found making lists or journaling helpful before, or whether you haven't given it a shot yet, the book is designed to be interactive and engaging.
Rachelle also runs a Self Care Zine on Tumblr, filled with motivation to get your self care on.

The Happiest City in the World

In mid-February I managed to take self care to a whole new level and traveled to Copenhagen, Denmark.

Christiansborg palace

Scientifically, Denmark is the happiest country in the world and, by default, Copenhagen has been named the happiest city.

Immersing myself in a world of  happiness seemed perfect for my Romeo Project. When Sarah suggested the trip, I immediately saw the link between a relaxing holiday and my self-improvement programme. Why not just say 'yes'?
Joined by three lovely ladies, I headed out on an adventure with very little knowledge of what to expect when it came to currency, weather, or sightseeing.

Finding My Happy Place

The Romeo Project quest for happiness has so far led me to explore my authentic self and turn self care into a daily habit.

But I also want to find my Happy Place, and what better time to discover where that is than in a month dedicated to treating myself?

But what on earth is a Happy Place?

“Our natural state is to be happy” –says Michael James in ‘Happiness and the Art of Being’. But I disagree. For me, being happy is something I've had to work on. Would I have to dedicate a whole 10 month self-improvement programme to happiness if it came to me naturally?

As anyone with a mental illness knows, your illness means that you often aren’t close to being in your natural state, yet alone happy. I found it hard to experience any feelings whatsoever in the grips of depression, succumbing to emptiness and numbness.

Instead, I believe that our natural state is neutral; somewhere in between happiness and sadness. Life events and our own mindset determine whether we verge up the scale towards happiness or down to sadness.
I have to take steps, conscious efforts, to help me move up the scale to happiness. Whether it's my anti-depressants that lift me back into a neutral state, or my blog that helps me work through the hard times by writing about them, happiness is an endeavor for me. But if I find my Happy Place, I wonder if maybe finding happiness will be easier for me?

Stress Free

As part of my month of self care, I want to reduce my stress levels and how prone I am to stress. (See my Pinpointing your Stress post.)

Discovering how high my stress levels were, in terms of causing anxiety and depression, has really shown me that I need to take action to fight against stress. It has shown me that there are certain things I should be doing more of, and less of.

Working out what causes stress is key for establishing how you can go about reducing it. I suffer with anxiety, and as a result I often find myself stressed out and flustered in everyday situations. 

Over the last week, here are some of the things that have given me major anxiety...

• Travelling to Sweden.
• When the security guard spoke to me at the airport.
• My ears hurting on my flight.
• Realizing I should have bought the family better presents on holiday.
• Waiting for my report to come back from the designers in work.
• Going to the cinema only to realise I forgot the card I'd prebooked my tickets with.
• When the film was longer than I'd expected and I worried about being home late.
• Having to call in sick to work.
• Panicking I'll miss the bus.
• Getting the bill in a restaurant.
• Having to get up extra early because of the Luas strike.
• Fearing I'll be late to work because of said strike.
• When my compressed powder broke and spilled all over me on the bus.

Pinpointing your Stress

Stress is a key component of our everyday, modern lives. We expect to be stressed; it's a sign of success. It's an indicator that we are busy, in-demand people. But it's not healthy.

A huge part of self care is about recognising when we’re stressed, under pressure or generally suffering with a lot of anxiety and taking measures to alleviate it. For me, stress leads to me being run down. And along with experiencing a lot of worry mentally, my body reacts physically as well.

Here are the physical symptoms of stress that I exhibit:
- mouth ulcers
- psoriasis
- migraines
- swollen glands - inflamed throat
- difficulty sleeping
- irritability

Practicing self care methods can help us to feel calmer, healthier and reduce the physical symptoms of stress.

This month I’ve been keeping an eye on my own stress levels with regular stress tests.
When you’re working a full time job, working a part-time evening and weekend job, plus teaching a class, volunteering, and running a blog, you can struggle to find time to breathe. At least I do.

Even Superheroes Have Sidekicks

“Showing emotional vulnerability may make us fear rejection. But once you become accustomed to doing it, it will become a way of life and will build self-confidence.”
– Maria Arpa, ‘The Heart of Mindful Relationships’

I’m not good at sharing my feelings.

I am one of the most stubborn and guarded people you are ever likely to meet, if we ever have the pleasure of meeting of course. I have gotten through years of friendships without the other person ever knowing anything about my family, how many siblings I have, how many relationships I've had, whether I have a pet or not.

I don’t do it on purpose, I have just never been someone who intentionally shares details of my their life with others. I am more of a listener than a talker. And over the years a lot of my friendships have reflected that.

My month of authenticity in January taught me that I needed to be me more. And I am pleased to say I got better at it.

But I still find it hard to discuss when things aren’t good.

Food for Thoughts | Guest Post

Self Care practices differ for everyone. While I need to unwind and force myself to relax, others look to bigger lifestyle changes to care for their body and mind.

Today I'm delighted to host a guest blog from Oisín who has found that looking after your diet can have a huge impact on your mental health. Oisín is a journalism student and a frequent contributor to The Outspoken Post.

At the start of the year I decided to try eating a plant based diet for at least 6 months. My reasons for attempting a vegan diet was not due to some moral dilemma I had about eating meat or dairy products, but self care reasons, as I wanted to try and reduce anxiety and stress levels.

Creating a Self Care Box

Hello!
What better way to get my month of self care underway than be creating my own self care box?

But what is a self care box I hear you ask? Well I came up with the idea when reading '21 Days to Master Extreme Self Care' by Cheryl Richardson. In the book she talks about the importance of having a first aid kit – a well prepared plan of action in place before you need it.

So much of self care for me is about fending off the bad days. But with mental illness, that doesn't mean that there won't still be days when you feel like you've had enough and want to give up. Having a first aid kit prepared in advance means that you have somewhere and something to turn to for help.

Daily Self Care Moments

When trying to improve your mental health, sometimes having one big overarching resolution isn't enough.

To be honest, my first week of self care didn't get off to the best of starts. Sure I was feeling positive and happy on the 1st of February, but on Tuesday 2nd I was a bit of a mess.


I felt tired and grumpy, despite a good night's sleep and a cup of coffee. I just didn't feel like me.
Lethargic. That's the word that feels most suited to my feelings.
This lasted until Thursday, when I finally felt my moods somewhat lift.

How could all my positive work of authenticity fall apart as soon I started a new challenge?
How could it all go so wrong so fast?

Well the truth is that mental illness doesn't care how determined you are to be happier or how much you want to practice self care every day. Mental illness will prey on your insecurities and vulnerabilities. It'll demotivate you and attempt to block any efforts of productivity or self preservation. And that's exactly what it did to me on Tuesday. Writing about why I had been feeling crap helped; but talking about it made my fears and insecurities fall away.

Developing the habit of self care can't be achieved overnight. So I have decided to break it down, and I am making a number of small commitments to follow every day.

Do we have time for happiness?

Since I started exploring happiness with The Romeo Project, something that has consistently come up in the self-help literature is how time consuming the pursuit of happiness is.

As part of my month of Self Care,  I want to improve my happiness through the little things. 

It's about finding the time, and making the time, to bring in a little bit of happiness into our daily lives.

Currently, my answer to that question is no. Right now I feel overwhelmed by all I am trying to juggle; two jobs, volunteer work, teaching evening classes, blogging... How am I even meant to have a social life, yet alone a relationship, when I have so many other commitments? I spend so much time rushing from one place to the next, catching up on what I did miss from one evening to the next. I definitely do not feel like I have time happiness.

But often the little things that make us happy don't take up a lot of time. 

Source

This Huffington Post article from 2014 looks at the little things that require minimal time and effort to make you happy. They argue that according to Science, you do have time for happiness. No excuses.
Happiness can be found in the little things we do every day. And right now, I am grasping for it.

Here are the Huffington Post suggestions I want to incorporate into my day to day life this month.

Smile - I could definitely smile more. I do love that feeling when a stranger smiles at you, or when you greet a work colleague with a big smile in the morning. It releases endorphin's in both the smiler, and the other person on the receiving end.

Intro. to Self Care is Not Selfish

Happy February everyone!
And welcome to month two of my Romeo Project.

My second resolution of the year is ‘Self Care is Not Selfish’. It might seem pretty obvious to some of you that looking after ourselves is important, but over the years it has been something that has been difficult for me.

When I was 18 I was in the grips of severe depression.

I didn’t care for myself, my own safety, or my own health.

I didn’t eat. For a week I survived off of toast or threw up with anxiety.

I didn’t go to class.

I didn’t want to look after myself.

For me, self care is all about preserving good mental health. It’s the little things we do for ourselves; whether treating yourself to a hot chocolate, or getting an early night ahead of a big day in work, or just going for a walk in the good weather.

Self Care for Christmas and Giveaway

As wonderfully festive as Christmas is, it can also be really difficult for a lot of people. There's the pressure to be and feel happy. The expectation that everyone has someone to spend it with. The difficulties that often come with having people to spend it with. It's totally normal for your mental health to take a real knock come this time of year.

This Christmas, encourage self care when it comes to buying gifts. Whether it's a treat, a mindfulness trend, or a way of nourishing your body, there are many present ideas that can boost your mental health.
And stay tuned for my self care giveaway at the bottom of the post.

Here's my gift suggestions for yourself or someone you know who needs a little pick-me-up;

Gratitude Journal

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The simplicity of writing down why you should be grateful can be so rewarding. In 2014 I kept a Gratitude Journal where I would try to find something, no matter how big or small, to be thankful for at the end of every day. It didn't matter how bad my day was, I was to find something. Looking back through makes me laugh, and appreciate the small joys of being alive.

Hot Water Bottle
Not just for Christmas, a hot bottle provides relief from the cold, stomach aches, period pains, headaches. They're warm and cosy, and you can win your own exclusive hot water bottle in my giveaway at the end of this post.

Sad Ghost Club
The Sad Ghost Club have a huge range of selection for those who are feeling down, whether it's comics, t-shirts, badges or posters. All products feature a range of affirmations that can inspire and help anyone to feel less alone.

Colouring Book

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Colouring for mindfulness has been all the rage this month. Encourage someone to take it up with any of the books from the huge ranges of selection in book stores. My favourite store, The Book Depository has loads of offer for reasonable prices!

Hot chocolate in a mug
There's not much more comforting than a warm mug of chocolate and milk. Buy a festive mug and gift it alongside your favourite brand of hot chocolate.

Bathing Gift Set
Don't underestimate the power of a good soak! Whether it's from The Body Shop, Lush or Boots, gift someone the power of relaxation.

Hot water bottle Giveaway with Alflorex

Alflorex has created an exclusive winter giveaway of a handcrafted, one-of-a-kind hot water bottle and a three month supply of Alflorex PrecisionBiotic® food supplements for one of my readers this winter. Each hot water bottle cover has a unique design and is made from super soft lambs wool sourced from traditional Irish woolen mills.
To enter the giveaway (ROI only) fill out the Rafflecopter below!

a Rafflecopter giveaway